Hi everyone, thank you for reading this...I really have nowhere else to write or others I can confide in. I feel its even hypocritical for me to even have these feelings and I don't think that I would act on them...but it scares me that they keep popping into my head. It's almost like..the only reasoning turning away these suicidal thoughts is the pain it will bring to my family and friends. I have almost nothing to be depressed out! I have some awesome friends, just not too many. A good job, comfortable lifestyle....but I feel so alone! My insecurity eats at me like a decease at every turn, and my mind just won't stop thinking about negative scenarios. It's unbelievable how depressed I can get from a simple rejection. Example: one of my friends said she does not have the money to go on a little trip that we were planning on taking next month...and this got me thinking that she doesn't want to spend time with me and really why would she? I'm not that fun, there are SO many others she would rather be with! Now there is NOTHING I can look forward to. I know in the back of my head, this probably is due to my overactive negative imagination...but I can't help it. I don't know how to fix ME. Why do I have these feelings? I have been to 4 sessions with a hypnotherapist and it feels like I made a little progress but here I am today, heavily depressed. It just seems so hopeless, I just want to end it and get a new start. I want that negative voice in my head to stop making negative self-loathing sugestions. I just want to be happy...but this seems impossible with so much self sabotage...Thank you so much for listening to my rambling..