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I hate this time of year

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by BobH, Oct 29, 2008.

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  1. BobH

    BobH Member

    My birthday is coming up soon. Last year I said to myself I would try to change things not be depressed be more social get some education. I didn't come close to doing any of that.

    I try to think positive about things. But I'm an uneducated bum with no friends no job. The last person I tried to be social with suddenly stopped talking to me why I don't know. It hurt.

    I don't see myself going anywhere with my life. I feel like I should crawl into a hole and die.

    What is happiness?

    I wish my mind would go away. All my thoughts go away.
  2. Boing

    Boing Member

    Birthdays tend to be 'bad news' if people have had a garbage year or are going through rough times. There seems a natural tendency to take stock of life and reflect on all the garbage experienced, which doesnt help the 'birthday boy'. Sometimes its better to pretend its not a birthday and just treat it as just another day.

    If I knew what happiness was I wouldnt be here. Sorry cant help you on that one!!
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 31, 2008
  3. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    same yo
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Me too at times, I just think of where I was this time last year and miss him so much.

    Wouldn't change a thing tho.

    I think happiness is simply feeling content and grateful for certain parts of your life. It comes in small doses sometimes but it's there.
  5. You can't see where you are going looking backwards all the time.

    I know that sounds corny, but some days are very painful and I just have to tell myself, I am going to go forward, make new plans for what's ahead, not regret what's behind. It's all you can do.

    All the things I regret not doing in the last year are not getting done while I'm sitting around regretting not doing them before now. Regret and continuing to not do these things is what has gotten me in serious crises in the past.

    It doesn't matter today that you haven't accomplished all your goals yet. Keep setting and re-setting goals. That's how people do it.

    It reminds of that Innocence Mission song, "I am always beginning the world.." And I am, but I think that's okay now. It's better than not.
  6. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    actually, this is a very good post. thoughtful, honest, not corny at all.
    nothing you said can be argued with or have fault found with it. very
    good post.

    I still hate my fucking life and wish I was never born. but that is the
    ultimate looking back with regret.

    it all sucks. it's good you find things to look forward to and keep
    setting new goals. all I really wanna do is just fucking die and be done
    with this fucking shit once and for all.

    anyway, good post.
  7. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    it doesn't help that the fucking "holiday season" is looming like a giant
    turd on the horizon. ho ho ho. merry fucking christmas and happy fucking
    new piece of shit year. my birthday was last week. it sucked. only
    because I fucking hate it. everyone else was perfectly pleasant.

    and now? THANKS fucking giving, another PHONY bullshit holiday to
    pretend we're having fun and life doesn't suck.

    I hate this time of year too. words fail me how much I LOATHE this time
    of year. oh well...so it goes..

    I hope ya tough it out somehow. it'll pass soon enough like a fucking kidney stone.
  8. I'm sorry. I know it's not that easy, to just look ahead. I just manically cling to that this time of night sometimes. And sometimes it helps.
  9. This year, after several years of letting people know I really don't care for the whole holiday season, all I am getting is "Well we know you don't like Christmas" or "We know you are bah humbug". Har-dee-har-har.

    So I hear you. This time of year really sucks. Trying to hold it together since it's just November. Guess that's why I am on this forum tonight.

    Hang in there. The longest night of the year will be here soon, and then the light starts coming back again...
  10. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    yes. light. "go towards the light!" :laugh:

    edited: too much gloom and doom and deep dark depression from me on this one.
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2008
  11. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    ok, I needed to do something completely perverse to make myself laugh.
    if ya aint got a warped sense of humor, don't click on the link. if ya do?
    Merry Christmas!!! :mad:

  12. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    I hate this time of year too, every thing bad in my life has seemed to of happened in november time...

    Its fukin shit, from my granda dieing, to my brother being sent to prison and then my first suicide attempt... shit really
  13. 1293888

    1293888 New Member

    Me too. Christmas is nearly here. It's the waiting I can't stand.
    I'm a little upset now. It's a bit ridiculous, all that's happened this morning is I got up and did some homework. But I had a dream last night, that I think sorta metaphoricly explains what I mean.
    It was Christmas in the dream. I like Christmas, you see. I like the rushing and the colours and the happyness and the singing. Most of all I like the food, but whatever. Anyway, in my dream, there was a flood, so I couldn't go to school. I don't know why, it was Christmas eve, I wouldn't have been in anyway. My Mum went out to work and I fannied about for a bit. Then, all of a sudden, it was Christmas day. My Mum went out, and did her thang and me and my family did the rest of the christmas thing. Food, tv etc. We forgot about the presents. My brothers were layed out on lovely pine chairs. I had a bar of chocolate from my friend Cat, which I already knew about. Her name was crossed off the balloon, because the names of the people who gave the presents were on green balloons. So my Mum pulled up to the house, and got out of the car, smiling nervously. She pulled a bag from the boot and said 'Happy Christmas'. They'd forgotten about me and tried to pretend that Cat's pressie was from them while they tried to fix it. They'd given me a bule and yellow horrendous cheched vest top from the reduced section of Select, while my brothers had exactly what they liked. And when I got upset, they thought it was because I hadn't been given very much chocolate.

    I'm not saying that they actually forgot about me at Christmas, I'm just saying, and it sounds totally melodramatic and ridiculous, that they don't love me asmuch as my brothers. I am always the last one to get anything. They give me money, and then expect me to buy things for other people, even if it's money I've earned myself. And I watch the Gilmore Girls. Ok, a little random, but I look at the relationship between Rory and Lorelai, and I feeal like a part of me is missing. I don't have that kind of relationship with anyone. I feel like I'm all alone, and if anything was dangerously wrong with me, I would have no one to turn to. I would be more likely to tell a teacher than my own mother. That can't be right, can it? I mean she gave birth to me. She must feel something. The message she repeatedly sends out to me, is that she hates me because I'm chubby (I HATE the word fat. Call me anything else, even obese, I don't care, but just not fat), ugly, tall, smart. . .Gawd there's a millions reasons. And we were walking the other day, and it just seemed they fitted together. I was waling behind them and I was on my own. . .I just feel so lonely and just, well, alone. And I know I seem really immature and preteen mumbling about how "Oh, I'm so sad!" and "Nobody loves me!", but I'm really hurting.
  14. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Bob,
    I hate my birthday also. It doesn't help knowing my family has always thought of me being a mistake, they didn't want anymore kids and then I showed up. I quit counting birthdays along time ago.
    As far as the holidays, the only thing I like about them is the rum. During the holidays is the only time I drink...I get by thanksgiving o.k. but christmas I went like six years and stayed home while everyone else went to whoevers house it is to have it. The last couple of years They suckered me in to going. I felt like a stranger, that I didn't belong there. So I would make a stiff drink and go outside and sit on the porch by myself where I am most comfotable. I would sit there and get shitfaced drunk. So you see you aren't alone in not likeing your birthday or the holidays. Hell I spent three years in the hospital on my birthday. No one knew and I preferred it that way!!Take Care!!~Joseph~
  15. geolab101

    geolab101 Well-Known Member

    i hate this time of year too.

    last year during this month is when the bottom fell out of my emotional life.

    it is freaky being in the same season again.

    i'm so sick of christmas. i like getting stuff for free but i just get so annoyed at people going way over the top on sentimental value.

    last year my school counsellor said that i really had something to be thankful for a week before christmas because i was still alive. seriously i hate that.

    i try to keep in mind that it will eventually end.
  16. jam1e

    jam1e Guest

    You are not alone. Christmas time is depressing for alot of people. Infact the Suicide rate goes up at this time of year.

    I always think that Christmas is just a season away from Spring, which is a lovely time of year, abit like a new beginning!

    As for being uneducated, your written English seems ok.

    Not having a good education, (like me!) does not mean you are incapable of being a bright worthy person!

    I work with people with all sorts of fancy qualifications, yet some of them are as thick as shit! It's only a peice of paper!! :smile:
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