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i hate this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xx-just-a-girl-xx, Nov 27, 2007.

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  1. i feel it everyday, just longing not to be here. i want to be gone so bad but im so scared. to do it. i feel weak for not being able to. but i just want it to go away. so much. I feel it every single day just that "why am i here?" "im a waste of space" "nobody can help me" "i wish i was dead" feeling, and even though i dont want to feel it, or i try my best not to, its just there. taking control of me ...they have no idea what its like or that i MEAN it... i dont cry easy... but im crying my heart out writing this, cos i feel like nobody around me understands, except on here. Its all i have left :(

    I have nobody to talk too, and the people around me that i do talk to say...ok. when i say im fine. even if they no that im not ok. because they dont want to have to deal with it. they dont want to deal with me!

    IM NOT OK :(

    *i wish i could be better*
  2. urban_lily

    urban_lily Well-Known Member

    I understand exactly...I so could have written this myself.

    And you are right, people in your life probably dont understand....at all! It's not that they dont want to deal with you...it's because they dont know what to say or do and they feel helpless.

    You said yourself that you are not ok and you wish you were.....you need to get some help with this....there is no shame in asking for help and I think you need to talk to someone who might understand a bit better. Have you seen your GP about this? If not, I would if I were you. You can of course come on here and everyone will help and chat to you as much as you need and you know that it is a safe environment for you to express your feelings and where people know where you're coming from. If you feel very down and what to chat to someone 'real' (for want of a better word!) then call the samaritans, there is no issue too big or too small for them and they will talk you through things and be a confidential listening ear for when you need it.

    you can get through this pet, it will be hard, I wont kid you, but you can do it :hugs:
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