I hate to ask this but I need some help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by summerschild, May 4, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    I could really use some help. There's someone I've been talking to (no one from here) and things got well sexy. There's something about me I felt I had to tell him about me. It is something that I can't change and was caused by a medical condition I had when I was a baby. It made me into a freak and there is nothing I can do about it. Fixing it is too expensive. When he found out about it he dropped me romantically. God it hurts. I mean he's not exactly Johnny Depp but I cared for him. Still do. Why can't people see beyond the outside of me that I can't change and accept me for what is on the inside? Is that asking too much? Being the freak I am I know that I will probably never find romantic love. I guess I am stuck being alone forever. Right now my method is looking very tempting and is far too close to completion for my comfort. I know I'm being long winded I just needed to talk to people who care. My heart is breaking and I just don't know what to do. I'm so tired of being hurt. Is there any hope for me? Or should I just give it up? He still "wants to be friends" and I want to help him with his depression but not sure I should. Help!!! Want to cry but can't. Too numb right now. I really thought he would understand. :i'm sorry:
     
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :sad: :hug:

    hmm he sounds like a jerk and half hun...you are such an amazing person and if he cant look past the outside dont bother with him.

    you will find someone because you are a very beautiful person...

    :hugtackles:
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    :hug: Don't give up hope. You're an amazing person, and there are people who will accept you exactly how you are. If this guy wouldn't, then you deserve way better.

    I know you're hurting though, here if you need anything.
     
  4. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    There's always hope so please don't do anything rash. He obviously wasn't the right one for you as he proved but there is someone out there for you. Someone who will see through your medical condition and see you as a whole and not just someone with a problem so please hang on. :console:
     
  5. aviewfromchaos

    aviewfromchaos Well-Known Member

    i understand COMPLETELY. i was involved with a girl for around 6 months. everything was going good until i mentioned that i had "problems" to put it lightly. she dumped me on the spot. i pretty much gave up on anybody. then one of my old friends and i started getting closer and now we are together. she understands where i have been and accepts it. dont give up too easy. the person for you might be right under your nose. =]
     
  6. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    Thanks alison... oz... I appreciate your kind words more than you know. I don't regret having the procedure that did this to me. Otherwise I might have died as an infant. It also left me sterile. I have learned to accept that. Its just that at this point in my life I feel like someone should care. I had a husband but that didn't work out. We're just roommates now. The marriage is long over and I learned to accept that. We just live under the same roof for financial reasons. God I am being long winded tonight. But at least now the tears are starting. Maybe that will help. I'm putting my method in another room and hiding it. Out of sight out of mind right? Thanks again. :hug:
     
  7. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    It's unlikely you will be alone forever, you are just in anguish right now and can't see the possibilities. As for helping this man with his depression, don't. Not so much because of his treatment of you, but due to the fact that you have your own issues to deal with. You should come first.
     
  8. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    I told him tonight that I was going to stay away from him for a few days to try and get over this and all i got was "ok" I have sat up with him all night for days on end trying to help him. He won't help me. I just don't know how to let go of how I feel about him. And yes for the next few days at least i'm going to be taking care of me and my friends in here... but not him. No he's on his own. Thanks for listening.
     
  9. ozbound

    ozbound Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    It sounds like your making positive steps in the right direction which is always a good thing so well done.

    Also very happy you have moved your method to another room and your right out of sight is out of mind. I do the same thing with my method too.

    Sometimes the hardest thing to recognise is when it is time to look after ourselves often it's too late but glad you have made the decision to look after your self.
     
  10. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    Having the help of my friends has been a great blessing. I even wrote him an email telling him off. That made me feel a little better but it still hurts. I feel like he let me down. I accepted him with his flaws I just don't know why he couldn't accept mine. :hug: Thanks for the help.
     
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :arms:
     
  12. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    :hug: thanks sweetie. I still feel like a mule has kicked me but I know this will pass. I'm just glad I have my friends here to help me through this.
     
  13. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It's going to hurt. :hug: But your friends ... all the people who care about you ... will help you through this!! I'm only an email away if you ever need anything.
     
  14. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    It's just a case of good riddance, summerschild. If a thing like what you mentioned is a dealbreaker for him then he's obviously immature in certain ways and you deserve better than that.

    :console:

    I'm here if you wanna talk. Keep your chin up, ok?
     
  15. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    Thanks so much. Today things are looking better. I don't feel the same urge to hurt myself as I did last night. I guess I didn't realize how self absorbed he really is. I am so glad I have good friends who are willing to help me through this. so for alison :hug: sapphire :hug: and :love: and :grouphug: for all who helped me last night to get through the night. Still a bit shaky but will survive. You guys are awesome!
     
  16. Sapphire

    Sapphire Well-Known Member

    You are awesome too.
     
  17. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    Don't feel so awesome now but thanks. I just hope echo will be ok. :hug:
     
  18. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :cry:
     
  19. ASolitaryBlue

    ASolitaryBlue Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: sorry i wasnt here to help you hon...my head wasnt on right last night either. im glad youre taking steps in the right direction, though. always here if you want to talk :hugtackles:
     
  20. summerschild

    summerschild Well-Known Member

    I understand sweetie. I hope you are feeling better. I made myself go out today and I am glad I did. I am feeling much better. :hug:
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.