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i hate when people say things cant be that bad

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#1
for as long as i can remember whenever i have told someone about they way i feel their reaction has been oh things will work out,things cant be that bad,i know how you feel or things will get better when they have no idea after all anyone can say things like that without fully understanding how you feel they seem to think that if your more optimistic that good things will happen which i think is aload of bull don't they think we have tried and failed miserably to look on the brighter side of life as they put it ? its really hard to feel and be positive when you feel like complete and utter crap when bad things are always happening over and over again. and yet someone always had to kick you in the teeth and say something completely stupid that only makes you feel even worse everyone acts as if its so easy to keep going when its anything but. they seem so full of advice but none of it ever helps all they tell you is what you should do their not interested in actually helping you its so easy for them to say random shit when they have no real idea about how you really feel or what you have been through but then again everyone seems to sound like dr phil nowadays there is only a few people in this world who genuinely care and what to help you but people like that are few and far between.
 
#5
there's nothing wrong with hoping things will get better i know that its saved alot of lives but some people have very little hope to begin with or no hope at all
 

Illusion

Well-Known Member
#9
Same!!! I HATE when people say stuff like that to me. The past few weeks I've tried being a "brighter" person but darkness keeps attacking me over and over. Its not easy to get rid of depression. We're all different and we all handle things in a different way. Some are better at handling stuff while others break down easily. This is what I hate the most though... When you're upset and someone says "Well theres more terrible things happening in the world right now, like in Japan. Quit being a selfish crybaby and get over it". Oh gosh I want to strangle people like that. They act like something major only matters and that something mentally from an average person doesn't mean anything. Thats how it is most of the time though.. People all of a sudden start caring when something major happens. I hope I don't trigger anyone saying this, I'm just trying to give an example: Just like if someone was going through depression and people told that person to get over it, it can't be that bad, etc then they commit suicide people are all of a sudden like "They were hurting so much...". :grr:
 

nolonger

Well-Known Member
#10
Just like if someone was going through depression and people told that person to get over it, it can't be that bad, etc then they commit suicide people are all of a sudden like "They were hurting so much...".
Or they say shit like "we didnt have a clue!" "he seemed so fine!". like fuck off....

people backflip to save themselves.
 
#11
i have talked to people who have tried to get help for over a decade they have been on all the meds you can think of they have seen a bunch of shrinks but nothing helps at all.i dont believe that someone kills them selves over nothing there always has to be a reason and i totally agree with you when you say that others have said they had no idea their friends/family were in pain before they took their own lives i mean how the hell can they have no clue ?
 

Mr Stewart

Well-Known Member
#12
Some of us are very good at hiding it. Sometimes people are not very perceptive and are inclined to believe when they hear "i'm fine". Sometimes they don't want to doubt that claim because a doubt means their family member or friend is lying to them, it's easier to just assume truth than to entertain the idea of trouble and deception.
 

Illusion

Well-Known Member
#13
Or they say shit like "we didnt have a clue!" "he seemed so fine!". like fuck off....

people backflip to save themselves.
Exactly! Thats what I hear from a majority of people that loose someone due to suicide. Yeah its true that some people are better at hiding their depression and acting like they're fine but when they say that about someone that was clearly showing signs of depression then they're just saving their-selves from looking bad & most likely are dealing with terrible guilt.
 

Megz

Active Member
#15
There are a few phrases that I seem to hear time and again and they pissed me off that much I have devised my own little responses to them - not that I'd ever dare say what I'm really thinking!

1) "You just need to give yourself a good shake" - No, tw@t, I want to give YOU a good shake!

2) "But you have nothing to be depressed about!" - Oh right, thanks, now I know that I'm BOUND to get better instantly. Thanks for your wisdom.

3) "You just have to get up and get on with it and pull yourself together" - Don't you think that if I could then I would???? I don't want to feel like this!

4) "You need to get out and meet new people" What so they can tell me to pull myself together? Cheers I'll bear that in mind.........

5) "You need to stop wallowing in self pity and get on with your life, life's too short" - Oh that's just improved how I feel hasn't it? I'm just wallowing in self pity and not battling every minute of everyday just to keep going - and quite frankly for me, life's too long sometimes!
 

Growing Pains

Well-Known Member
#16
I've been asked - by someone who has dealt with depression HERSELF, mind you - "What do you have to be depressed about?"

I wanted to take the back of my hand and smack her. Same person later told me I "let" myself be this way. It's that kind of thinking that makes me not want to open up to people. I think it's largely in part, though, that those close to us don't want to admit it's a serious problem for us. Still, doesn't make it any less frustrating when they seem so... clueless.
 

topsail81

Well-Known Member
#17
I know exactly what you mean. The worst is for me is when someone tells me that "it could be worse". Well, no shit. It just makes me angry, at myself more then anything.
 
#18
most of the people i have become friends with have no idea at all what im feeling yet their the first ones to tell me that they have depression or any other mental illness they all tell me to be optimistic. it seriously pisses me off when they tell me what i should do when i never asked for their advice in the first place i mean most of the people i know dont know anything about me and they know sod all about my life or what i have been through yet they say the most random bull i have ever heard its come to the point where i dont tell anyone about how i feel outside of sf because i know people really wont understand me to them nothing can be that bad they seriously think that everything works itself out when in reality that hardly ever happens.
 

Moat

Banned Member
#19
Generally when people say that, it is because they are not experiencing life through your eyes, so have no idea of the struggles or hurdles you are going through. There is no point in getting upset or irritated when people say that, since they lead their own life separate to yours. I just nod and humour them that they are right most of the time.
 
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