I hate who I am...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by realitynut, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. realitynut

    realitynut Member

    I dont often post on here mainly because I'm just far too senstive for my own good and I dont take criticism too well, plus i'm rubbish with words.

    Well, I think i've finally got to the stage were I've nothing to go on for. I just hate who I am, the way I talk the fact I have nothing remotely interesting to say, I'm not witty or funny, I have no friends, a family who couldnt really care less, my mum has to lie to everyone she knows about me having a job because shes that embarrassed of me to tell them the truth. When people say 'just be yourself' I go mad because what if who you are isnt good enough, I dont feel i'll ever be able to live in this world, it's just too hard when you dont have the skills to talk to people, get a job or do anything worth while.

    Its not like i havent tried to make a go of my life, I had my own flat, ive had jobs, i went back to college, made a friend, but none of it worked out and i'm back to square one living with my parents at 25 were I spend most of my time on my own miserable in my room. I'm gay, also which really doesnt help with my social anxiety because it just makes me more self conscious that people are staring at me. I dont have a supportive family who could help me, they know my problems and just let me get on with it, I feel totally alone in this world, it feels like a life sentence!

    Every morning when I wake up I wish I hadnt, I dont know how much more of this life I can take...
  2. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    people make fun of me all the time. i get called ho, slu*, whor, and gay. i get harassed everyday. i don't stand on street corners i;'m not gay but i think people can just fuck off if they don't like someone's sexual orientation. its none of their business. enough about me. i can relate to some of the things you're going through. but i'm not good with words either. what makes you happy? maybe you need a break from all the stress. so you can gather your thoughts. please do stick around to talk to us here.
  3. SilentScream

    SilentScream Well-Known Member


    You have posted this and that is pretty good I think.
    You worded your problem pretty well, in my opinion.

    And I do understand that life can be a long way down sometimes,
    but you have to remember that almost nothing is permanent,
    the only thing that is permanent is the fact that all others things are not.
    Our problems are not permanent, our lifes are not permanent, our world is not permanent...

    And yes, sometimes it can take ages, untill the rain has finally been gone.
    But you have to kepe in mind, that the sun is always shining, even when it's dark, even when it's raining.

    And you have prooven already that youa ctually CAN do it, you have had jobs, you have had a friend.
    So it is not completely out of question.
    And, everyone has got things he or she is bad at, but we also have got things we are good at..

    .. You should not hate yourself, you actually should love yourself and be PROUD at yourself.
    You should push yourself across that darn line and be proud at yourself for pushing yourself.

    I am sure that you can do it and live your life like you want to.
    You are going to have a good future!
    Just be patient and don't give up!
    Life get's better and it is totally worth it!

    I hope that you will take care and get positive soon!