I HATE your guts

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by TreadingBlue, May 12, 2011.

  1. TreadingBlue

    TreadingBlue Well-Known Member

    Yeah that's right, I hate your guts. I hate your fucking guts.
    I had a best friend named Kate, bestest best friends since kindergarten. Ten long years. At school we were known for being best friends, you didn't even need to ask if we were together. People knew we spent every moment together.
    Skip to 2010- she's a concieted bitch and I was a cutter. She was the only person I told, other than the stranger I emailed. I think I like the stranger better than Kate for awhile.
    I remember cutting for the third time and calling Kate, I was a mess. I couldn't even talk right because I was sobbing so much. She got me to put the scissors down and had me come over the next day. I know she was trying but her attitude just pissed me off. "why are you depressed? Like is anything going on?" really?! Your my best friend and I've told you EVERYTHING! how could you NOT even have the slightest clue why I'm depressed?! Oh yeah that's right, each time we talk on the phone and I say one thing the only thing I get is silence and then "oh sorry did you say something?" and then when I fall asleep on your bed you look through my emails with Holli?! (stranger I emailed) I asked you and you denied it, you even got mad. I know now that you did, your new best friend told me.
    A week later I asked you for help because my cut wouldn't stop bleeding, what was your response? Getting mad and putting it on facebook. "you think I'm joking when I say I'm not talking to you?! I'm not!" yeah, I saw your status alright. We don't talk for the night and Holli helps me out. Morning comes and I get your text "Sorry I got mad. I'm ready to forgive you for your mistakes if your ready" EXCUSE ME?! at this point do me a favor and go fuck yourself.
    Other than when your grandma died a week later that's the last time I talked to you in person. And I'm damn happy about it.
    Forward a month and I find out you told three people about my self harm? What's wrong with you?! I text you and you deny it. Soon it goes around so much people from other schools know and yet you still deny it. Who else would have told?! Holli?! Yeah since she totally lives in the same fucking state. Your the only one I told, how are you going to deny it?! How does that makes any sort of sense to you?!
    Forward to now, Joslyn your new best friend is texting me telling me how you were crying to her over the phone about how you missed me. Yeah well you should have thought about that before. Me and Joslyn are friends but she's trying to defend you when I realize, she doesn't know the full story. You've only been telling her what makes you look like the victim. How in the world do you want me to be your friend if your STILL lying?!?! Telling her that you don't know why I stopped talking to you, you know damn well why. Told her I wouldn't forgive you in the morning, didn't think I would tell her the truth?!
    She said you wondered if I missed you. No I don't miss you, I miss the memories. I miss being able to pretty much have another house to feel so comfortable in, to be able to tell you everything even though you wouldn't always listen, I miss doing crazy stuff with you. But I do NOT miss you and what you became. You went from being my best friend to a ***** who literally would stand in front of a mirror talking about how good you looked. You knew I had self esteem issues. Wanna know where I got them from? You. Every little comment about how lazy I was and my "chubbyness".
    So fuck you. Fuck every single thing about you. Now your new best friend knows what really happened. Good job trying to lie.
    It's funny how you've been through three "best friends" since I've left you. The fourth one has been telling me how annoyed she's getting from being with you. I've stayed with one since I left. One that I neglected while I was friends with you, one that accepted me, one that is still by my side, one that helped me pull out of my depression. She's done more you have ever done in one short year.
    I'm sorry how unwell written this is, im full of rage and on an iPod. Never a good combination. It just feels so much better to get this all of my chest.
    Have a nice fucking life "best friend".
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2011
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Many years ago, my entire life revolved around "my best friend", no one mattered more; not other friends, boyfriends NO ONE.
    She did something unforgiveable, she grew up a little quicker than I did and swanned off with a new friend.
    I was so utterly heartbroken that I couldn't have her in the world anymore, so in my mind I blanked her completely.
    I made other friends, no one ever as close, but that's the rub isn't it?
    You let someone be that close then they can hurt you more than anyone else.

    I hope you will be able to stop being so angry with this person and move on.
    Either put them in the past , or have it out with them.
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    She does not deserve you...telling people about something you told her in confidence for reasons other than to help you is just not right...be glad you are not with her anymore and move on...you need people in your life who will bring you up not call you 'chubby'...J
     
  4. TreadingBlue

    TreadingBlue Well-Known Member

    Terry- I'm sorry you had to go through that. Losing a best friend is the worst but sometimes it's for the best, looks like it was for the best for both of us. It's amazing how one person can bring you down so much. I'm tryin to let of the anger, I just haven't really vented any of it until now XD

    Sadeyes- thank you, I'm much happier now that I've left her. My self esteem has even gone up :)

    thanks for the advice!