I Hate!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sakura, May 18, 2007.

  1. Sakura

    Sakura Well-Known Member

    IhateIhateIHATE!! the fact that I can't do anything right!

    I HATE the fact that no matter how hard we try, there really *isn't* any hope.

    I HATE the fact that we try, and try, and try so...fucking...HARD to make it...leaning on each other...trying to help each other out at this site, and other places...and we STILL can't really stop anyone if they REALLY want to kill themselves!

    It's all so pointless and stupid...there really is no hope...why do we even bother...why do we even try...I make it 4 fucking days after my friends somehow manage to pull me back from the edge on Monday...AND HERE I AM AGAIN WANTING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF!

    *Pathetic laugh*

    We've all fooled ourselves...there *is* no help...there *is* no hope...there isn't any point to all of this at all, and I'm so...I'm just so...tired...why isn't there any hope...why isn't there any point...why can't we just all make it...why do we continue to fail...why can't we all fucking succeed like we all want to...why can't we...God...it's all so pointless...I'm just going to go off and cry now...there isn't any hope anyways...it's all so useless...and so pointless...nothing makes any sense anymore...why...why can't things make sense anymore...why...
    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2007
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    HUN!!! :hug: what is going on????? what's happenend????
  3. Twisted Sweet Lies

    Twisted Sweet Lies Well-Known Member

    It's ture you can't stop someone from killing theirself if they really want to do it. Sometimes though it just helps to talk about it and I have seen several people who use to be sucidial but have gotten better. There is always hope you just have to find it.
  4. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I really hope that you're okay hunny :hug:
  5. Sakura

    Sakura Well-Known Member

    Re: I Hate!! *(Trig?)*

    Thanks for caring and the hugs :hug:

    I'm just tired is all...I really thought that I had this whole thing...(depression/suicidal thoughts and feelings)...beat. But then all the old feelings just came rushing back in full force last night, and now I'm back to thinking about ending my life every single damn minute of the day...and I'm also back to planning again.

    And I just want to hurt myself so...fucking...bad...

    I mean, I'm generally a very easygoing and calm person, but lately I've just felt like lashing out so much, and that's completely unlike my normal behaviour.

    I mean sometimes I just get this urge to either just stab myself in the gut, or to just take a sharp blade and start cutting...but I haven't cut since I was a teenager in high school...I stopped when I was around 17...I'm 25 now...why the hell am I getting urges to cut again now?!

    Arg...sorry...I'm supposed to be trying to help all of you out...yet I seem to have once again become the one bothering others with my problems...sorry...
    Last edited by a moderator: May 19, 2007
  6. Twisted Sweet Lies

    Twisted Sweet Lies Well-Known Member

    I don't think the urges for self harm ever go away but they can be controlled and pushed aside.