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I have a hard time with relationships.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by SaraRose, Sep 28, 2013.

  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I've always had a hard time with relationships. I've always been the shy one that was teased. Think someone loved me only to find out that they were using me, or were laughing at my stupidity of thinking I'd be loved. They'd be with me until I either wasn't useful anymore or became broke and was no longer able to support them and me.

    I've learned to ignore them and move on. I'm had people I loved- though I still do have a hard time of saying it. But when I do I give my whole heart and soul to them. It's been stomped on (apparently since I'm single) many times. But still I move on and keep going.

    I have someone I love, but I'm so uncertain if she loves me. And this is the part I HATE! When I can't tell for sure. I want to believe she does. But at the same time I don't want to be a fool if it turns out to be wrong. I know she wouldn't leave, we've had worse stuff happen and we still are around. I just wish I could be that type of person that can just come out and say it, and be like 'ah hey if not it's perfectly fine!'

    God I swear I really just suck at all relationships! I'm just so awkwardness around others; and I've decided that that is just me- the geeky, nerdy girl that can't seem to keep a conversation going if her life depended on it.
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I've pretty much gone through the same things, so I think if I ever found someone who truly loved me, that would be hard for me to believe or accept. So I can understand your struggle in maintaining relationships. Have you talked to her about how you're feeling? Maybe if you get things out in the open, and explain your insecurities, it will help to realize where you both stand.
  3. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    I seem to be pretty shit at relationships, too... Both romantic and friendship. I either say something/act stupid/crazy due to my anxiety/paranoia and ruin them that way, or I usually just end up seeming boring/uncaring/uninterested/quiet due to my social anxiety/shyness and ruin them that way. And I've also been used and had my heart stomped on like you have, and man does it suck. Sorry for you. :(

    Anyway, I second Witty_Sarcasm's advice to explain to her how you're feeling and get things out in the open. That's always hard to do, but it's usually best.
  4. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    Witty- I know how hard it is to believe that someone could love me back- especially since I seem to always attract the same type of person. We did kinda talk like maybe 3-4 years ago. She had come to me and told me that she liked me, a lot. But at the time I was in a relationship (manipulative) and I was keeping that relationship secret because the girl I was with was just cruel to my friends (it took me a while to get the courage to leave). So I think she was certain that I didn't love her at all. But I have. That partly makes me nervous about bringing it up again; I'm not sure if she still feels the same, if she still loves me that way, or if it's just a friendship love now.

    Matt- I'm so sorry you're in the same boat Matt. I wish I could give some amazing advice. But everything you said is exactly how I am. I have a couple friends that are "used" to my weird ways and stay around. Romantic part though always sadly fails.

    I know it'd be best to bring it out in the open. And there's been so many times I've written a text to her to tell her. Since I figure text is the best way then she can ignore it if it bothers her or whatever. Yet I get too scared and end up deleting the text right away. :/ Courage is not a personality trait of mine...
  5. rtrt46546565

    rtrt46546565 Well-Known Member

    Yup, I've been there. The advice I can give you is to type it out, take a deep breath, and just force yourself to send it without thinking about it. If you're truly ready to tell her, that is.