hi everyone, to give you a little background..... -I am very screwed up, or so i think. I havent seen me dad since a was about 3, and ive been living with a step father who i hate, and he hates me. He sometimes beat me and other times just screamed at me. -I have a problem with pornography. I sometimes wonder if i am my real self, as my view about people is so screwed up about what i see on the internet. -ive had many thoughts in my mind about sex (incest with my mom, friends, etc) although ive never done it. I know it is WRONG and i really want to change, i just dont know how. -i know i have talents, I love music, I can play Trombone, panflute, and guitar, but i really dont see the point in living. -this post is the last straw, maybe i can get something out of it that will keep me going. Does anyone have any advice on stopping me watching porn, having bad thoughts, and getting out of this state of depression and actually living! I know i have a place in this world, but i really need encouragement.