I just want to scream, yell, and smash things.. Just when I think life will get better - it doesnt..Then when I get ahead a little again, I just fall behind because something pushes me back..When I think relationship troubles are behind me - BOOM he goes into asshole mode again..I dont know what his problem is. If it rains he gets pissed off, if he stubs his toe hes pissed of, if he spills his coffee hes in a rage..I cant stand much more of this..I know he had a crap life..His Dad died when he was like 8 (maybe 10)..His mom beat him and was really mean to him. He never got anything..Then we met, fell in love, moved intogether, got married, had a baby..and then things take a turn for the worse..Is he harboring mommie issues that his mind has let him put over on me since Im a mommie (the change in the relationship..what)? I dont get it, I dont understand... Then in other issues.. Money problems hit..Prices raise..I was lied to about two items I bought (told I would pay $15 a month for each item and they freaking bill me $40 a month each = $80 for two items that I was told would be $30 a month)..Of course I havent been making payments so my credit is in the shit house!! This month we dont have any money..I paid minimum payments on the bills and may of not paid enough on one of them - thanks to another damn company streatching the truth on their card (NO interest my ass..it was defered interest..Im pissed).. I cant get ahead..My body hurts, Im in a frequent state of panic - chest pains, headache, skin crawls, joints hurt..its like my bones are growing but my skin wont streatch..Im not sleeping well..The house is a mess because I cant keep up with the work..Thanks to the damn husband not pulling his weight on a regular basis... Tomorrow a friend of my husbands is coming for a visit - I want to lock the freaking door and tell him to GO AWAY..Im ashamed of this damn place..its old, its falling apart, and I cant keep it clean..Bills, messes, pains, LIFE... Okay sorry but I needed to rant. I know this makes probably no sence to anyone reading this..