I have no friends; people just plain don't seem to like me. Sometimes they completely ignore me when I'm standing right there. I could just disappear and nobody would miss me except possibly my genetic relatives who are hard-wired to care in some primal sense. Weird to feel invisible when you're a female who is almost 6 feet tall. Anyone who responds to this post will say, "Oh, sweetie, things will pick up! You're just going through a hard time! Everyone has trouble sometimes." No. Not really. That's not applicable to me. This has been the situation for MY ENTIRE LIFE. A quarter of a century has gone by in which I've been rejected by people in every single situation. In kindergarten, I was the little girl in the corner not speaking to anyone. At home, while I was growing up, my parents favored my brother. My other brother also favors our brother. I know I'm not the most exciting person to be around -- I'm terrible at smalltalk and often find my mind goes blank out of nervousness -- but it's almost like people can tell I'm boring before I get a chance to bore them. I'm invisible. When I call my grandparents, they hang up on me or start asking about my brother; MY EXISTENCE DOES NOT INTEREST THEM. I have no friends my own age--and I had no friends all through college. A few weeks ago, I tried to "friend" some people on Facebook in my graduate school program, and some of them didn't even friend me back. I'm pretty sure one boy friended me weeks ago (in response to my request) and then de-friended me just recently. And it's not a large, anonymous program where he might be justified in de-friending someone he never sees. Not at all. There are actually only a few dozen of us in the program, and we sit in a lecture together once a week. Another element: I've read through a few of the posts in this forum, and most people seem to have / have had a significant other. So even these suicidal folks around the world, the most desperate and lonely and afflicted minds, have someone who chooses to love them over all others in their gender. Kudos to them. I, on the other hand, have never been in a romantic relationship. I'm 25. I've never even kissed anyone or held hands. I haven't had a best female friend in over a decade (she moved away in high school; we've grown apart, and she is now indifferent to me and rarely returns my calls). Sometimes a stranger will hit on me, or I get approached quite eagerly by a guy at a party--so it's not like I'm horribly unattractive. People who DON'T KNOW ME AT ALL seem to think well of me. But somehow, for some reason, once people get to know me they decide - very quickly - that I'm horrible/boring/disgusting/something else that I have not identified. I wish someone would just tell me what's wrong with me. Give me an anonymous note or something. You'll be doing me a favor. The irony is that I'm much, much needier than other people and I crave affection and I genuinely like everyone, coworkers and classmates and roommates and EVERYONE, more than they know... even those who continue to reject me, day after day. I have never deliberately hurt any of them. I don't understand why I am a pariah. Why I've always been on the outside, looking in. Oh, and I was hospitalized for anorexia in my home state 10 years ago, as a teenager. I'm now at a normal weight but still have issues (not that anyone knows; I have never told a single soul who knows me now--so it's not like my psychiatric history would be the reason everyone is avoiding me) So you see I've got my share of problems, and there have never been any "good old days" or times I can point to and say "I'd like to restore that level of calm acceptance and social comfort in my life." If anything, my life is better now than it was during my miserable childhood, because as an adult I have a greater degree of autonomy in my day-to-day life. But everything hurts.