I have been having Suicidial thoughts again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FinalDays, Jul 18, 2008.

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  1. FinalDays

    FinalDays Active Member

    I just keep wondering why did I join this webpage to let it all out for a miracle self healing but my mind try's to use humor to remove the reason why I want to end it all. Im kind of a shy person and I dont leave my home much and I feel many nights like im on the hangman's noose and I wonder what's it all for..... If god don't exist why don't I just end it but then I see so many wonderful people on this board who have a heart and compassion and have been in even worse places then me and they can survive.

    I know I have not been sleeping and man I miss my wife and wish I had some to talk to other then my dog but the chat seems to be used most of time for humor when what I really need is a serious talk. Right now I feel like an idiot at my age to post a message like this but I can't help the way that I feel inside everyday and night.

    I hate my dad for all the things he used to do to me and I hate myself for not doing something sooner. I have no life or friends and I feel like an idiot for even posting in this room but it was one of the many reasons why I came here and how I found the site I was looking up suicide and ways to kill myself and found this forum. I have posted a little bit about me in this forum but I also suffer from essential tremors so that keeps me depressed a lot and then with the panic attacks its like a double wammy.
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you found us and decided to give us a chance. I understand what you are saying about what you find when you go into chat. There are people there that would be willing to have a serious discussion with you. You can PM someone and tell them you need to talk, or tell those in chat the same and maybe create your own room or go down into trigger subjects. Feel free to PM me. I will be more than willing to listen to you. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    depression can strike at any age, so don't worry one bit about asking for help here on SF. me, i'm turning 43 this year and have struggled with feeling suicidal for the past 7 months. i think i've seen more mental health professionals in these last 7 months than i have in the last 40 years.

    getting back to a regular sleep will help alot in being able to regulate your emotions. the first rule the mental health nurse laid down was "no daytime napping" and 8 hours or so sleep a night. took me a few months to get that one down, but once i did i found myself much better able to face my feelings.
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You have no reason to feel stupid or idiotic for posting on here, it's one of the many reasons this forum is here for, to help and support.

    If you ever want to chat about anything then feel free to PM me anytime.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I am sure you know that here at the forum no one judges you. We are here for you to offer advice, and support. Don't be afraid no one knows your tru identity. You are safe to let it out. Once you do that you should feel a little better. I am not going to say the thoughts will go away. For some they do. Then there are those who have learned to live with them. That is the category i'm in. I fight it on a dailey basis. I have a good deterent. My daughter and my grandaughter. They are moving down here in a couple of weeks. So I will have to get out more instead of isolating to my bedroom. I am afraid and happy at the same time. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk...:chopper:...
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