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I have been thinking about suicide :'(

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I am scared.......petrified. I have my disability hearing in the morning and I am almost postitive I won't get it. If that happens I will be on the streets. And last night I kept trying to convince myself that there was no God and it was okay to kill myself.

I want to so bad.....:cry2: I wish for death. I can barely keep myself alive and my apartment half way decent. And my old case manager said that I had about a 40% chance of getting it, because she said the government is cutting back...and the judge will argue that if I am not working how do I know I can't...well shit I'd only be getting 500 if I could work why live in 180.00 amonth? why wouldn't I be working right now when I want to.......I am the type that wants to be independant and it kills me that I can't right nhow.

carolyn don't give up girl. things like this have a way of working themselves out. i know there have been cutbacks but it doesn't mean they're not doing it anymore. hold on girl. i will try to message you later until then please take care.


Active Member
Ye, dont give up. You will find a way to keep going, and things might improve. And remember that we are always here for you, just as you have always been here for everyone. If you need support or a kind word, we will try to provide you with any help we can.

We love you <3
Re: I have been thinking about suicide :'( "update"

I got back from my disability hearing, and a lady there told me that it's favorable that I get it, but I might not this time but all I can do is wait for the decision, which the system is backed up, so anywhere from 2 months to even a year.

I am scared though, started freaking out in there, it was over an hour.....:ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy:



SF & Antiquitie's Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi Carolyn, those kind of things are so stressing, just thinking about them is enough to send me in a panic... but yours is over and the fact that you were told it was favourable surely means it will be in your favour?
Unfortunetly you have to wait for a long time for confirmation.
I hope you can relax a little now its over.

Take care :hug: Hazel xx
Hey Carolyn AKA Easter :ohmy: lol

I hope everythings going okay and everything with the court is going okay :smile:

I really hope you can convince yourself not to do such a terrible thing to such a wonderful person as yourself, i hope everything works out for ya.

Keep ya head up :smile:

Take care of yourself

Viks :hug:
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