I'm almost never at school. I'm too anxious. When I go there, I feel like dying. I'm so hypersensitive, fanatic and depressed. I have lots of obsessions. Right now I am a vegan and I feel: I can't be a vegan at the moment, because my stupid autism makes me extremely sensitive to consistency and flavour. I can't stop being a vegan. I have to, according to my thoughts. I was at school today. I had been home for 1,5 week. I couldn't deal with the school work anymore. I used to be the best in the class, now I'm the worst because I'm so weak. I have cried for half an hour now. I want to kill myself NOW, but I'm a coward. I'm so scared.