G
To Live On.
I never ever really wanted to die. Even when I made that horrible attempt last fall that ended me up in the hospital, I didnt want to die.
None of us do, I think. Most if not all of us, just need a way out. A way to end the pain that we are enduring.
Some of that pain is physical.
Some of that pain is mental.
Some of that pain is self inflicted.
Some of that pain is brought on by others.
Some of us need a way out of the problems we endure.
Problems with finances.
Problems with relationships.
Problems with family members.
Problems with coworkers.
Problems with friends.
Some of us want out of our addictions.
Addictions to drugs, booze, sex, gambling, nicotine, you name it, we can become addicted to it.
But all of that stuff, ALL of it, none of it is worth taking your life for.
You may not be religious, but I am. I turned my will and care over to God back in June. It's about damn time I let him drive, the vehicle of my life.
I know I caused all of you some sort of discomfort and pain.
I know I have been an up and down guy since I have been a member here.
I know that I have dragged all of you thru the mud of my life.
And yet, AND YET, you keep hanging on to me. Not letting me go.
I want to live.
I want to live for myself.
I want to live for my wife.
I want to live for my kids.
I want to live for my friends.
I want to live for my AA family.
I want to live for my TTL family.
I want to live for my SF family.
I want to live for people who have ever cared and loved me. Certain people or persons with whom I still care a great deal for.
And so...I am going to keep on, keeping on.
It's not gonna be easy. Next few months are gonna probably be pure hell.
I intend to rely on you guys a lot.
But with God, the fellowship here and at AA, and with the strength of my family too, I will get thru it.
Bless you all for all that you have done and continue to do.
Bill
I never ever really wanted to die. Even when I made that horrible attempt last fall that ended me up in the hospital, I didnt want to die.
None of us do, I think. Most if not all of us, just need a way out. A way to end the pain that we are enduring.
Some of that pain is physical.
Some of that pain is mental.
Some of that pain is self inflicted.
Some of that pain is brought on by others.
Some of us need a way out of the problems we endure.
Problems with finances.
Problems with relationships.
Problems with family members.
Problems with coworkers.
Problems with friends.
Some of us want out of our addictions.
Addictions to drugs, booze, sex, gambling, nicotine, you name it, we can become addicted to it.
But all of that stuff, ALL of it, none of it is worth taking your life for.
You may not be religious, but I am. I turned my will and care over to God back in June. It's about damn time I let him drive, the vehicle of my life.
I know I caused all of you some sort of discomfort and pain.
I know I have been an up and down guy since I have been a member here.
I know that I have dragged all of you thru the mud of my life.
And yet, AND YET, you keep hanging on to me. Not letting me go.
I want to live.
I want to live for myself.
I want to live for my wife.
I want to live for my kids.
I want to live for my friends.
I want to live for my AA family.
I want to live for my TTL family.
I want to live for my SF family.
I want to live for people who have ever cared and loved me. Certain people or persons with whom I still care a great deal for.
And so...I am going to keep on, keeping on.
It's not gonna be easy. Next few months are gonna probably be pure hell.
I intend to rely on you guys a lot.
But with God, the fellowship here and at AA, and with the strength of my family too, I will get thru it.
Bless you all for all that you have done and continue to do.
Bill