I have decided.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CosmikJack, Dec 7, 2011.

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  1. CosmikJack

    CosmikJack Member

    I have decided for quite some time now that I don't want to live. I know that there are reasons for me not to leave this plane. I have good family and I love them very much. I love to play xbox. I love my daughter and would like to see her grow older. I have great friends that help me and would help me in time of a crisis. I just no longer understand why suicide has to be a crisis situation. Why does there have to be so many raw emotions that accompany it. I do not find it anymore disgusting than an elderly person that takes there last breath while there heart beats out. I don't want to be that person who lives for many years and sees the progression of mankind. It's already been a disappointment in the life that I've lived so far. I mean should I live just to make others happy around me?? I know that most of us are considered selfish, and Im ok with being selfish. I don't think it is right for others to ask that we stay here because they want to be selfish with our lives. I don't know where I will go when I die, but I'd like to think that I will be the same way I am now on the otherside. I dont want to be some old person on the otherside. Luckily for the ones who wish to keep me here for there own selfish reasons, Im not going to be killing myself. It's quite a conundrum for me considering I don't want to live but I fear the methods that I would have to use to do it. So I guess I'm going to be here unhappy contemplating every second of every minute of every day suicide, even when it appears like I will pass the storm be thrown into the thrulls of an even deeper depression in which I will be locked until the next storm to be thrown even deeper. It doesn't help that quite frankly I do not care about other people, seriously. When someone dies I don't care, when someone I know dies I don't care, when there is famine and disease throughout the world and they publish these things I don't care. If you fell down beside me I would laugh, and then I would ask if you are ok(only because that is what we are supposed to do, Right?) When it comes to someone that has problems i will help them and give advice but only to make me appear to be a normal person. I don't know where Im really going with this but would like some help.
     
  2. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    You're right, society is pathetic in its denial of the fundamental right to death. Not that I approve of such in the majority of cases, but its a measure of how socially 'advanced' we really are. We can't even let an old suffering man die earlier because of the sanctimonious right to life idiots - the same idiots who bombed Iraq and killed 500,000 people. Life is really about finding personal fulfillment and enlightenment, but that can be hampered by various things. In my case, I have high social needs that simply cannot be met in this social environment. It's just not possible. People who don't comprehend act like I should just 'snap out of it' or try various things, but it's misunderstood. It's the same as asking someone gasping for air to just not need air. But obviously, people aren't going see that in its true light because we're trained to be fearful of death and stigmatize all 'suicidals' as impulsive and irrational. It's mostly true, but not all true, and for the ones where it isn't true, boy does it screw shit up. That being said, I do think that suicide should be an absolute last resort after very careful consideration, and some suicidal people aren't the best judge of that....but it still doesn't excuse the stigmatization and self-righteousness.

    Even when it IS true, that kind of condescending attitude is damaging.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 7, 2011
  3. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    I saw somebody a few weeks ago on here wrote how they wished there were clinics where people who no longer wanted to live could go to and be humanely put to sleep. For me that would be a truly compassionate society that respected people when dealing with this difficult decision. Obviously you can't have somebody who just lost 5grand in a casino going there or somebody who says they wanna die because there lover dumped them,but why not people who can satisfy some criteria over a period of time that they 100% do not wish to be in a world that they did not choose to be born into. There's people who will say No Way theres no problem that can't be worked out but please quit with the bullshit. Sometimes Things Will Not Improve-Fact!! It's such a shame that people have to seek out violent/painful/undignified ways to leave this world. When will society treat people with the same dignity and respect as is afforded to an animal when a vet decides it has no quality of life.
     
  4. HawthornePassage

    HawthornePassage Well-Known Member

    ^^ Maybe in 2085, if we're lucky. Lonnnng wait until then...
     
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