Over the past 5 years I have split into two different people. The quiet shy kid by around my parents and teachers, and a man without morals by night. Its escalated to levels I never thought it would get too. Me and my "friends" have done terrible things to gain enough money to fuel the constant drug addiction. Weve broken into countless places, smashed and grabbed what weve wanted, run down the streets carrying goods with the cops following closely behind, proper movie stuff, and I cant take it anymore. shit weve even mugged a number of people when times got really hard. I am a piece of human shit, and now that I see this I realize how empty I really am, theres nothing I want from this world anymore, I think Im going to leave it. Recently the two worlds collided. My sunken eyes and terrible health from countless late nights and drug binges made my parents search my room while I was away, and they uncovered the truth about everything. My "friends" dont give two shits about me (who would expect junkies to care?) and everyone I truly cared about in my daytime world despises me now and I don't blame them. Theres nothing left for me. Its either move on completely and reinvent myself or just end it all right now. I hate myself and theres nothing left for me in this world besides more drugs and torment. I don't want it. I still have a sawn off in the wall cavity at the top of my cupboard. things are getting real now. I cant stay here anymore. Christ I hope there isnt a hell because Im headed straight for it.