I have figured it out. I don't have to commit suicide. I have to keep living miserably. I have to cry daily. I will always be alone. I'll never marry and will die virgin. I should always be unhappy. I'll cut, i'll not make friends. Coz I do bad things to my friends. I hurt them for trusting me. I'll give my money to parents. They have wasted alot of thier on me during my childhood and in my education. I will hardly speak. I want people to misunderstand me, bully me, be ashamed of me. I have stopped my medication. N 'll of never see doc. This is going to be my life.