I have had it....

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by White Dove, Aug 5, 2007.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    I have had it with this life of mine...

    I am fed up of this stupid cancer and the pain..

    I am fed up with this stupid emotional pain..

    I am fed up with my so called family , friends , and loved ones who claim they love me and care for me yet they are never here.. never around when i need them...

    Where are you at? Tell me where are you at right now??

    I dont even cross your mind do i??? WELL DO I??? NO I DONT , SO IT DOESNT MATTER RATHER I AM ALIVE NOW OR NOT TO YOU... IT DOESNT MATTER TO YOU IF I AM DEAD.. IT JUST WOULDNT EVEN EFFECT YOU.. HECK YOU WILL LAUGH AND PARTY WHEN I AM GONE.. I KNOW YOU WILL..

    Cause then i will be out of your life for good...

    I am fed up with the daltons.. i tried to make peace between us but you didnt want that.. YOU WANT ME IN THIS PAIN LONGER.. YOU WANT ME HERE TO SUFFER , WELL YOUR NOT GONNA MAKE ME SUFFER ANYMORE.. YOU HEAR ME.. I AM GONE TOMORROW.. MY SUFFERING WILL END.. I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF TRYING.. I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF THINKING THAT YOU GAVE A DAMN WHEN YOU DIDNT.... YOU USED ME.. YOU BOTH HURT ME AND I AM NOT GONNA ALLOW YOU TO DO THAT TO ME ANYMORE... ITS OVER YOU HEAR ME MR AND MRS DALTON , ITS OVER....

    IM NOT GONNA BE HERE FOR YOU TO HURT ME ANYMORE... YOU DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY MIND BEING TROUBLED , YOU DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY SPIRIT HURTING... YOU JUST DONT GIVE A DAMN BUT YOU AND YOUR WIFE ARE NOT GONNA HURT ME ANYMORE.. NO MORE HURT... NO MORE HURT FROM YOU.. EVER AGAIN... YOU GET THE PAPER SO CHECK THE HC OBITS CAUSE I WILL BE THERE.. IM DOING IT AND IM NOT BACKING OUT OF IT THIS TIME... IM PUTTING AN END TO THE HURT YOU BOTH PUT ON ME.. IM STOPPING THE PAIN MY WAY... YOU ARE NOT GONNA HURT ME ANYMORE..

    so you think its fun dont you? you like seeing me hurting? you love to hear of my pain, i know you do or else you would have done been here... because you havent that tells me that you like to see me in pain.. is this your idea of fun? is it fun to you to hear me hurting? well is it??? OF COURSE YOU LIKE IT , YOU FREEKING LIKE IT , WELL GUESS WHAT , YOU AINT HURTING ME NO MORE , IM TAKING CARE OF IT MY WAY... I GAVE YOU ALL OPPERTUNITY TO HELP EASE MY MIND, TO HELP ME TO HELP MY PAIN TO STOP BUT YOU COULDNT DO THAT... YOU DIDNT WANT TO.. YOU WANTED ME TO SUFFER , WELL I WONT BE SUFFERING ANYMORE TOMORROW,

    YOU KNOW I WILL DO IT... YOU BOTH KNOW I WILL.. SO THE HECK WITH YOU BOTH.. IM DYING ANYWAY.. I HAVE CANCER AND I DONT GIVE A DAMN AND I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS EITHER.. I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE SO I AM TAKING THE STEPS AND IM DOING IT...

    YOUR DAYS OF HURTING ME ARE EFFICIALLY OVER... YOU HEAR ME , THEY ARE OVER.. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO MAKE PEACE WITH ME.. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE , NOW YOU DONT GET ANOTHER CHANCE ANYMORE , CAUSE ITS OVER...

    IM DOING IT BECAUSE OF YOU.. I HOPE THE HELL YOU ARE HAPPY CAUSE YOU DROVE ME TO THE GRAVE.. YOU AND ELAINE BOTH DID... I COULDNT MAKE PEACE BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO SUFFER AND HURT IN MORE PAIN.. SOME TYPE OF CHRISTIAN YOU ARE????

    YOU ENJOYING IT , ARE YOU NOT?? YOU ARE HAVING FUN WATCHING ME SUFFER , WELL I AINT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE.. I AINT SUFFERING BECAUSE OF YOU ANYMORE.. ITS OVER.. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCES.. I GAVE YOU PLENTY OF TIME , AND EVEN DELAYED IT SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I HAD A LITTLE HOPE THAT YOU SOMEWHERE DEEP DOWN HAD A HEART BUT NO I WAS WRONG, I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU.. I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOUR SO CALLED CHRISTIAN LOVE... SO SCREW YOU.. IM DONE..

    i am done... i am not going to be a pawn in your game anymore.. i am not going to get hurt by you anymore.. i am not joking. i am doing it, think i wont? well think again, you know i will.. i pleaded with you many times , yet you didnt care , so im gone...
     
  2. Anna

    Anna Active Member

    Sue
    you have my # call me please? or else write.

    Love
    Anna
     
  3. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    things are getting really tough pm anytime hun:sad:
     
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