i dont think i have been this low before. not even when i have attempted suicide in the past. i dont think i have anything left in me. i went out to go have fun, and it did the complete opposite. just like everything else. i think im making a right decision and it turns out to be the wrong one. i have been very impulsive. going out and doing things without even thinking. i think the thing that really set this off was when my so called friends said that they would be here for me if i needed anything, and i go and tell them just how bad i am doing and they turn their backs on me. as if i am someone knocking at the door asking for help and they end up shutting it in my face. so now the one thing i am counting on the most is for people here to...talk with me..i really need to get thru this tonight or i honestly think thiis will be it for me...i have nobody else right now..everyone else has completely left my life..