i have it harder then any of u here good reasons to die

my name is brandon im from michigan i live in constant pain i have so many things wrong with me physically. im out of shape i have a unbalance shoulder, tightness behide my neck, crowded teeth cant afford braces,lower back pain i have sith its something that makes u grow bumps on your body and i got it check up and drain but they keep comeing back.ok that was the physical part now the emothinal part i was abuse by my mom a couple of times still have the nail scars she gave me on my shoulders, i never had a girl friend in my life dont care to get one any more, cant get a job dont care to get one any more, never had a father not looking for him any more im plaining on slowly dieing by not eating or drinking its been 3 days so far since i dont have the balls to kill my self with a knife or anything like that im gonna not eat or drink.

 

Times like this you wonder if there is a God. Ive got abnormalities but i'm such a coward i cant even put them here. But i think i can relate to you on one thing, it's the mental scars that hurt more. For the last 6 years ive hardly gone a few days without bleeding because of the condition i have. But that feels like nothing compared to the devastation of it and other things in my mind.
Can the doctors not do anything to help your bad back? And is sith curable?
I'm not saying your going to get better mentally if you improve physically but like i say to people, if your going to kill yourself there is no harm in seeing what can be first. Maybe you can be cured of some ailements, and maybe you can talk to somebody proessional about your mental abuses. Is it not worth a try to see a better life?
P.s Starvation is really not a good idea. It's known to be very hard to carry all the way through because your going against your instinct to eat food. But if you do it for long enough its going to damage you even more which may not seem very important now, but might be if you have some luck and your life becomes more bearable.

 

yeah i tryied seeing a physical therapist about my physical problems but it seem not to help at all just told me to do abuch of stretches and lay off working out of any kind so i did didnt help at all.ive seen a doctor about the sith the doctor said if it keeps comeing back i need surgery i totally forgot about what he said u remind me thx, but i got to much other problems just tired of liveing same day over and over agian. im useless i cant get a job people find me ugly cant blame them i am all i do is stay in the house waiting to die or waiting for my mom to kick me out then ill probably die on the streets some how just waiting till that day.

 

My mother tortured me too, so, I just want to say that I can feel what you are going through right now. I'm here for you man.

 

Wow, this makes my story sound like some sort of cheap Hollywood drama. I want you to know that I care (and I'm sure many others who read this do as well), and I really wish I could help you in some way. Maybe it would help you to look for a christian community nearby? Even if you are not interested in religion, you might likely find some people who care about you and will try to help you - thats what good christians do, we love all people, and the ones who have a hard time the most. Maybe they could even help you find a more comfortable place to live and distract you from your pain.

*hugs*

 

i agree with them. you must find someway to get your problems out. If you stop eating you´ll get sick and you won´t die, you will be worst that at the begginig. I don´t know how is your situation but i think you should start talking with someone...and you came to the right place, but you need to talk with people as serene said too,. so if you need to talk. i´m here pm whenever you need to talk. Take care-

 

Its up to people to help people.Not God.Its people that suck.Not God

 

If God is omnipresent and all powerful, why doesn't he help us? And if God made us, whose fault is it that we suck?

 

God has helped me in ways that most people would not even believe... just not with what I want the very most in life. Sometimes I wonder why, and I feel its unfair that I can't have any sort of lasting happiness that really fulfills me. However, I believe that each case of suffering, in whatever form or shape, serves a greater purpose in the course of things. Hard to see or figure out in most cases. Let me think up an example:

A little girl of 2 years gets away from her mother and stumbles onto a road, is hit by drunk driver, and dies instantly. The mother is in shock, and will suffer from the loss for the rest of her life. However, one of the young policemen who finds the little girl is so saddened and touched by the incident that he decides to start teaching about traffic and the danger of drunk driving at schools. Over the course of several years, and without realizing it, this young policeman saves the lives or health of many young people by influencing their behaviour and awareness. The mother of the child will never know about this.

Brandon, I hope you will follow my advice and look for a group of christians in your area... you won't be forced to follow a religion, but you might find someone to help you ease your burden. A friend can make a great change.

 

Well I have not read the other replies. But in my book you do not need good reasons to do what you want. I find that if people do not accept the activity in general you cannot win an argument with them. Like with me, I like to play video games. And that is all I say anymore. I tried explaining the experience of the story and music and art to them and they say it is dumb. So fuck them, I play game because I like them that is all. Granted I find that people find there is no good reason to want to die aside from a slow painful death caused by a physical illness, THEN it is ok otherwise no.

Sounds to me you need a better facade. If you went around and asked people if I was suicidal they would say "Not on your life" and that is because I have everyone I have to interact with on a daily basis convinced I love living. I have the convinced of many things. I find that your feelings appear outwardly very easily. So if you do not cover them up with positive ones no one wants you around.... I don't know I have just noticed that over the past couple of months.

As for getting a job. An interview is the biggest facade of them all. If you show no enthusiasm you will not get the job period. But if you show enthusiasm and are qualified to do the job you have a much better chance.

As for the girlfriend thing, I have seen that a lot of people are in there current state because of them. Plus who cares if you have a girlfriend you cannot put yourself first. And when you do you are the selfish one I have noticed that women really really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hate men who do not worship the ground they walk on. And... well I could continue to rant about how much I really do not like women and their shitty ways but I will not, mainly because that is a generalization. And as well as most females here would like to disagree with me based on their personal experience in life. Needless to say the I am against all companionship. Look at it this way. If you have no one around you can do whatever you want whenever you want, within the bounds of the law. If you want to eat fast food you can and you can go wherever the fuck you please. But if you have a companion around you have to take into consideration their feelings. And it is just annoying as all hell.

Anyway that is my $2.

 

Branbran, please don't think you are alone. Not everyone judges people by the way they look or appear to look. I'm often afraid to post here because i'm not an english major and someone may "trash" the way I try to articulate myself, but I felt i needed to respond to you.

I've been suicidal. On and off actually. I think mine may be more of a depression type deal, but its none the less real.

Please don't give up hope. Some day, when you aren't looking, or expecting it, someone will touch your life and make it worth living. I'm not a religious person...at all actually. But if you can find solice there I urge you to do so. If not.....

Please hold on. you can email me or msn me if you'd like to.


Love
Shona

 

you. he is only there when you believe him and think positive. why didnt you put the move on suicide thoughts? was it you who didnt take action. instead you waste your time here on the forum ranting bout how crappy your life is when you shouldve used the time for it by making it better. "there's nothing i can do, i have nothing left"..another reason why you said that question. do you even have faith in god? or are you just testing him on his help? HE doesnt control your life. you do. go read a bible. that's his message.

what do you expect god to do ? one day you wake up and the sun is shining, you got a raise on your job ? oh right. that wont happen because all you do is think of the negative things. how do you expect anything out when all you do is 'i have no life..i wanna die..gahh' god only gives you the strength to carry on. thought, how are you supposeto carry on when it is your choice to thik this way. and your choice how YOU LIVE LIFE.

 

:sad: :sad: I suffer from severe, incurable chronic pain. In addition, I have psychological problems (most have come about because of my physiological pain and disability), have never had a girlfriend, and cannot handle a full-time job or full-time school.:sad: :sad:

:smile: The best way to stay optimistic when there is little hope is to simply take things one day at a time. I always become the most suicidal when I think about a future with chronic pain; however, when I just think about what I'm going to do to make through the next day I tend to feel less depressed. :smile:

 

I don't expect God to do anything for me. I agree that it is my decisions that cause my lifes problems (mostly). I was asking this question of the doctrines of the church not of God. In my eyes God is a spiritual body that sends us down here to gain experience and insight. And I believe Jesus was a mortal man who could use healing powers from his powerful spirit energy to stop people suffering. For that reason I won't go and read a bible.
And although I might have come to this site in desperation for someone to talk to of my problems, i found ide rather just try and aid people as best i can with the experience i have already picked up in my life.
Also, ive been brought up to believe that narrowminded people who don't want to debate matters but just push values onto other people should not be listened to and seeing as though you told me to go and read a bible when i could have been of any religion isnt the most open minded of responses. Also this site is dedicated to people who need to talk and can't handle there lives because of the problems they face so why is it a bad thing for them to be open with their feelings to other people, rather than going sorting out their lives on their own?

 

you beat me there. good point. hm..

 

the point i would like to make is that there is NO better reason to feel defeated and hopeless.. some ppl have no idea why they want to die... it MATTERS NOT... just the fact that they feel that way is enought to offer them support... it is no contest.. if you feel suicidal or hopeless there is no reason to justify it... i am here to suppport any one who is in need ..
and i do believe that we all can gain some insight and develop some meaning from our lives.. even when we (I) dont want too

 

Just a note, I didn't mean to call you narrowminded I just had a rough day and was tetchy. I sorry :wink: