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I have lost all hope

#1
I have been constantly depressed for over 5 years and nothing seems to make me happy at all. I have tried every medication to the point I have tried almost every antidepressant And nothing works. I’m tired of feeling so empty like I’m just a zombie going through life everyday. I can tell my boyfriend which I have been with for a very long time is getting tired of me because I’m contestants crying and telling him how depressed I am. I just don’t know what to do at this point. Nothing seems to ever get better and I’m just tired of going through life like this. If any of you have any ideas or coping skills please share because I’m ready to just end it all at this point.
 
#2
Sorry that you're going through this.

There's more to treating depression than just medication. The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods.

Here's a copy of the links in case you're on a phone

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety

I have been constantly depressed for over 5 years and nothing seems to make me happy at all
Do you know what the root cause of your depression is?

I hope something can help
 

Ash600

✮☆Meetup star ☆✮
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#3
Hi there, sorry that you've been struggling so much, I can only but imagine how hard things must be at the moment. What you may seem to have here could treatment resistant depression. Apart from the prescribed meds, I was wondering if you have been offered therapy? Sometimes in conjunction that could produce beneficial results.

Welcome to SF by the way, glad you found us.
 
#4
Sorry that you're going through this.

There's more to treating depression than just medication. The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods.

Here's a copy of the links in case you're on a phone

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety


Do you know what the root cause of your depression is?

I hope something can help[/
Sorry that you're going through this.

There's more to treating depression than just medication. The links in my signature have some information about treatment methods.

Here's a copy of the links in case you're on a phone

Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety


Do you know what the root cause of your depression is?

I hope something can help
im not sure what the cause of my depression is. It has been pretty bad ever since high school. My home life isn’t the best, I still live with my mom even though I’m almost 21. And we are pretty poor so money is always an issue which makes me worry a lot. Im also in college to get my associates degree which I’m on my 3rd year and it normally only takes 2 years and I’m pretty sad about that because I feel like Im not going to graduate anytime soon because I still have so many credit to do. I feel like everything in life makes me sad at this point
 
#5
Let's say you graduate, get a job, and have a reasonable amount of money. Do you feel like that would help a lot, or just a little?
 
#6
Hi there, sorry that you've been struggling so much, I can only but imagine how hard things must be at the moment. What you may seem to have here could treatment resistant depression. Apart from the prescribed meds, I was wondering if you have been offered therapy? Sometimes in conjunction that could produce beneficial results.

Welcome to SF by the way, glad you found us.
I am in therapy and I also have a psychiatrist and it doesn’t help at all. I’m not sure what else there is to do at this point, I feel like I have tried everything possible to try and get better and nothing ever helps.
 
#7
Let's say you graduate, get a job, and have a reasonable amount of money. Do you feel like that would help a lot, or just a little?
I feel like that would help but it’s not going to make me fully happy. it’s so long till I’m actually going to graduate and I don’t know what to do in the mean time to be happy. I can’t even concentrate on school work anymore because I just sit there and cry.
 
#8
*edit...you said you're seeing a therapist. If the style of therapy you're getting isn't CBT, you might want to try that.


The level of worry and stress that you are experiencing is probably a big part of what is making you depressed.

If you can't see a therapist, you might want to try learning about a therapy technique like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). A member here has recommended The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns. There may be other good books about CBT out there though.

A daily meditation practice might help you. There are two websites, headspace and insight timer, that have some free meditation practices available online and also for app download. There are plenty of free meditation practices available from other sources though.
 
Last edited:
#10
*edit...you said you're seeing a therapist. If the style of therapy you're getting isn't CBT, you might want to try that.


The level of worry and stress that you are experiencing is probably a big part of what is making you depressed.

If you can't see a therapist, you might want to try learning about a therapy technique like CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). A member here has recommended The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David Burns. There may be other good books about CBT out there though.

A daily meditation practice might help you. There are two websites, headspace and insight timer, that have some free meditation practices available online and also for app download. There are plenty of free meditation practices available from other sources though.
I have been looking into treatments and this may be a weird question but would you think ECT treatment would work? I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, bipolar disorder, and GAD so I feel like I would be a good candidate to try it but I have only heard the horror stories that were told when I was young.
 
#12
would you think ECT treatment would work?
It might. I think only a doctor or psychiatrist could tell you if you'd be a good candidate for treatment.

I have only heard the horror stories that were told when I was young
In the old days ECT was called shock treatment, and it was quite severe.

ECT these days uses much milder shocks, administered under anesthesia. I think someone usually gets up to 20 treatments.

ECT can cause memory loss. I think in some cases you might feel worse after. I think it can be a good treatment, but it's also probably a last resort because of the potential problems.

You might want to look into acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine. In principle, herbal treatments might be combined with conventional medication, but in that case your prescribers should know what each has prescribed.
 
#15
First, let's not give up all hope. Hope is what drives us to get better. There's nothing wrong with still being at home. Still being in school isnt wrong. And, not everyone has money. And, yes no money can cause alot of stress. You say you have been depressed since high school? Did something happen at that time that may have triggered you? If you're on medication it's not a miracle drug. Not like a light switch that can make you happy as soon as you take it. If anything, you walk around like a zombie as you describe with flat emotions. I think you're worried about your situation and that things aren't going as well as you like them too. I would pick a goal. Just a small to to start, then focus on achieving that goal. As you reach it, set another. And keep doing that, focus just on one goal at a time. Don't try and tackle everything at once. Don't worry about next month. Take everyday one day at a time. What you may worry about in the future, can change a thousand times before that day finally comes. Enjoy the time with your boyfriend. Take walks, talk. Take each day and hour as it comes. Too many times we worry about what is to come. Then, the time at hand.
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#16
Hey @Rosesandlillys It sounds like you're really hurting there. As for coping skills, something that's helped me is writing a gratitude journal. Each day you pick something that you're grateful for and write about it. Studies show that gratitude journals are a quick way to increase mood. Another thing that has helped me is learning about self-compassion. If you click the quote in my signature it will take you to a site about self-compassion. Send a message to my inbox if you want to know more about self-compassion. And another thing that's helped me is spending time on SF and getting to know other member. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're here for you. And we're glad to have you here.
 

MisterBGone

Well-Known Member
#17
To piggy-back a little bit off what @JDot said, I think a gratitude journal sounds like a wonderful idea, and a very effective tool, in helping to balance out the negative thoughts and distortions going on in our brains. . . A long time ago, I knew a psychology major who got her degree from Harvard. At that time, I was highly highly suicidal —(& actively thinking of it & such...); but anyway, what she told me to do at the beginning of each morning was something akin to this thing that @JDot is mentioning, except that it was more of a verbally expressed thing. In other words, I forget if she recommended coming up with like 3-5 positive things to say about yourself before you begin, or start each day. And to repeat them to your self out loud - the bathroom or bedroom. Wherever you may feel most comfortable. Like just a regular journal, you may think (as I did at the time), that it doesn’t sound all that great, maybe even semi tacky, and start to wonder how it could possibly be, or do any good? But low & behold, it was very effective for me, in combating some of the things that normally were present, or accompanying me on my journey as I rolled out of bed - & out the door on the regular! : )

now on ect, yes it is a very personal decision. And not one without controversy. However, as @may71 was mentioning, it’s not like you see in the movies, nor is it supposed to have profound effects on one’s memory - long term. Almost everyone experiences short term memory loss however, and so that is why you are typically inpatient for two weeks, as an example, while you get maybe apx a treatment a day (perhaps they take the weekends off / or feel if you need a break some where in there, another day off . . .) they conduct memory tests throughout and match those scores or results with your initial (baseline - prior to the beginning of the course of treatments...) so it is very easy to see what kind of an effect it is having each and every day, with each progressive treatment. They’ve found that it is necessary to have this number or sequence of them, for the maximum therapeutic effect (as opposed to fewer). Now once you’re through with that, then you typically would need to either return on much lesser occasion (out patient), for what s known as “maintenance ect,” that might be more like once a week or something, to help prevent a relapse of the worst depression, crisis, suicidal ideation a, etc. Or- in the absence of that - or sometimes in conjunction, an antidepressant (maybe it’ll work better after this?) I don’t have the answers, certainly want to consult your psychiatrist, and hopefully one that knows about this (mine was one of the top docs in town & at the time, one of only two who did it - they now have a bunch). I have not done it - but it was recommended as an option at one point while in patient, given my treatment resistance to the medications (antidepressants), and strong suicidal thoughts, etc.

Yes you are put under for the procedure. They have you keep journals while you’re in the hospital, just so you can remember small things, as I said, it usually effects more short term memory. Meaning it will eventually come back. It can be a lifesaving thing, so I’d say when it gets to that level or place - that you are seriously considering ending your life... then it is most certainly something worth considering. It’s been a while, but when I was considering it, the theory was that the temporal lobe seizures induced by the shocks, are what help to bring the relief from the depression. But don’t let that bother you - all that matters is if it works! : ) so while I have not made the choice to do so, I don’t hold it against anyone who has. And I have met some who have had great success with it. I have also read about others who have not. Again, all the more reason to consult with your doctor, and find out if they are comfortable/qualified in making this assessment, or if they could refer you to someone (specialist) who is... I mean, you could come out and ask them if they themselves administer it (although a lot of times there just in the room observing while someone else does it), but that’s not necessary, and you don’t want to insult them. :^) 😉 good luck ! 🍀 👍
 

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