I'm 20 now. I have never had a 'real' partner. I have a form of autism which makes me shy around people. I think because of this, no one loves me :\. I'm just shy awkward guy nobody loves. I feel that I'm a decent looking guy, but because I'm so shy, it means nothing. I wasted my first kiss on some girl that only wanted to use me. She led me on and the next day she told me she didn't want a relationship with me. That hurt a lot.. :\ I also recently asked one of my best friends out and she rejected me. I'm so sick of all the rejection. I just want to disappear.