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I have no friends.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by whoaaxxsamm, Oct 13, 2010.

  1. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    I have no friends and I know it's mostly my fault, but it hurts so much.
    I open up to people and they leave me.
    I know when I'm about to lose someone (or think;paranoia) so I seem desperate and obsessive.
    I always ask 'Why are you mad at me?' 'Did I do something to upset you?'
    I always say sorry, because I always feel I have something to apologize for.
    I'm not really all that mean I don't think.
    I don't try to be.
    I just want people to care about me, like I care about them.
    I truly do care about others, but no one cares about me.
    Is there really something that wrong with me?

    To be honest, I hate everyone.
    Well, mostly everyone.
    It part of my diagnosis.
    I meet someone, almost admire them, than pick out every little thing I hate about them.
    I have no idea why, and I don't know how to stop myself.
    There have been the odd few people that I have been able to overlook the bad.
    Half of those people have left me.

    I'm so alone.
    I wish people wouldn't leave me.
    I'm depressed, I'm not crazy.
    I put myself down a lot.
    When I do this, I don't look for attention, or compliments.
    I truly believe everything that I'm saying.
    If I say otherwise, I feel guilty.
    As in, if I tell myself 'You don't look half that bad today', I'll beat myself up for it later.

    I'm my own worst enemy.
    It's not just a show.
    No one in the world is able to qualify under the standards I put for myself.
    I'm too much of a perfectionist.
  2. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member


    I wouldn't leave you
  3. kote

    kote Account Closed

    my only friend is my dog. and i dont speak dog........
  4. assek

    assek Well-Known Member

    wow, you sound so much like me , its as if i written that post ! i especially relate to what you say about admiring someone and the picking things you hate about them, i wonder why we do this.

    pm me anytime you want to chat :)
  5. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    i sux at offering support as i dont really know what tp say most of the time... but you are a very kinda and caring person and i get a lot of what you just said as i do the some of the same things, especially the beating your self up and im a expert on being my own worse enemy...anyways its hard when u feel alone like that but if u ever need someone to talk to just message me :)
  6. music_lover16

    music_lover16 Member

    i know exactly how you feel and i used to have a friend who used to do that stuff. ill be your friend if you would like. if you would pm me and we can talk to
  7. Landlocked blues

    Landlocked blues Well-Known Member

    Wow! Its like reading a post about me! Pm me if you want :) we can be friends
  8. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Thank you everyone.
    It means a lot.
    I am feeling really alone.
    I know a lot of other people on this site are.

    I am busy at the moment, just getting a quick reply in.
    I will PM you all as soon as I have the chance.
    Thank you all again.