I went to see a psychiatrist earlier this week for the first time in my life,. We started talking and I told him I think I have social anxiety. He then asked me three things: can you go to the movies, can you go to the grocery store and can you speak in front of a group? I have no problem going to the movies, but somtimes buying tickets can be hard. I can buy groceries. Sometimes I get uncomfortable, but never to the point where I can’t do it at all. And if I’m well prepared and it’s a small group of people, I can give an oral presentation.
From this he concluded that I don’t have SA. Instead, he told me I have a depression (based on the other questions I answered), which I do, even though I don’t consider it my biggest problem, and gave me a prescription for antidepressants.
But what about the fact that I moved 300 miles across the country mainly so that I won’t have to run in to people I know superficially? What about the times I’ve stood in a record store for 30 minutes with a cd in my hands, not being able to go to the register and pay for it? What about never having had a job because I can’t go to job interviews? I can make this list a mile long.
So here I am now with my little pills that are supposed to help me get my life back. Needless to say, I don’t think they will help one bit. Even if the depression eases off, all the really big problems I have will still be there. I know this medicine is used to treat SA too, but we’re talking about something that has shaped my life for 15 years and taken away from me everything that makes life worth living. On the other hand, now I’m on the radar and maybe when the pills don’t do me any good he’ll realize I need therapy and stuff as well. Not that I’m sure that will help either, but I’d like to at least try it.
Guess that’s my… well, not so much of a rant, really. I’m not upset about what happened, just a little suprised and disappointed. It would have been nice if the good doctor had taken my own concerns a little more seriously. Now I have to wait for help a little while longer.
From this he concluded that I don’t have SA. Instead, he told me I have a depression (based on the other questions I answered), which I do, even though I don’t consider it my biggest problem, and gave me a prescription for antidepressants.
But what about the fact that I moved 300 miles across the country mainly so that I won’t have to run in to people I know superficially? What about the times I’ve stood in a record store for 30 minutes with a cd in my hands, not being able to go to the register and pay for it? What about never having had a job because I can’t go to job interviews? I can make this list a mile long.
So here I am now with my little pills that are supposed to help me get my life back. Needless to say, I don’t think they will help one bit. Even if the depression eases off, all the really big problems I have will still be there. I know this medicine is used to treat SA too, but we’re talking about something that has shaped my life for 15 years and taken away from me everything that makes life worth living. On the other hand, now I’m on the radar and maybe when the pills don’t do me any good he’ll realize I need therapy and stuff as well. Not that I’m sure that will help either, but I’d like to at least try it.
Guess that’s my… well, not so much of a rant, really. I’m not upset about what happened, just a little suprised and disappointed. It would have been nice if the good doctor had taken my own concerns a little more seriously. Now I have to wait for help a little while longer.