I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by AJanissary, Aug 20, 2016.

  1. AJanissary

    AJanissary Member

    Anyone else have a crippling inability to express their true suicidal feelings, I feel like most of my issues come from general social anxiety and some sort of mental failing that prevents me from discussing anything of note. It is mind ravaging at times, to stare at empty chat boxes or forum posts or even a fully typed message before closing the window.
     
    OCDNihilism likes this.
  2. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi AJ and welcome to SF. Learning to open up is not a easy thing to do, but forums like this one are great because you can practice in a completely safe,secure, anonymous environment. You dont have to be concerned about being judged either or ridiculed or belittled or intimidated, so its a win win situation for you. You can talk/write about almost anything under the sun and someone always replies with something sooner or later.

    So lets take social anxiety. What do you consider to be the biggest thing that triggers the onset of your anxiety in a social situation?

    For me its fear. I hate going anywhere new. I am disabled, so are there any stairs? where are the toilets going to be? how many people will be there? will it be noisy? will the lights be too bright? These are the things I think about. Once I have been to a place and its then known to me, I am usually ok, unless the place is not really suitable for me, then its all about avoidance.
     
  3. AJanissary

    AJanissary Member

    I don't know if social anxiety is the crux of the problem. While I do have to steel myself to interact with people such as bank tellers or before I go into a store. I feel the meat of my problems is that I have no emotional outlet. I am not sure when the last a real emotion has graced the features of my face. I just keep the same vacant emotionless expression at all times, I don't share any of my heavier emotions with anyone and there are plenty off them. I am sorry I took so long to reply for I did not know what to say.
     
  4. moxman

    moxman Well-Known Member

    Hello AJ, I am Mox,

    Thank you for joining us at SF. Please share with us what is going on with you. The more you share the more we can help you. That is how SF "works" we share what is going on with us. People will rally around you trying to give you ideas. You are with friends. I invite you to read my personal story in green below; and know you are not alone in how you feel. You are not alone in your pain and suffering. Everyone here has been through their own personal Hell. While you are here no one will ridicule you or make fun of you in any way. That BS is not tolerated here at SF. I came across SF because I was looking for ways to hurt myself. So I am going to ask you bluntly, are you feeling suicidal? If you are not; that is great. If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself, you will take yourself to the nearest ER and get the help you need. There is no shame in how you feel. There is no shame in getting help. At SF we will give you emotional support and lots *hugs.

    Please feel free to vent here. All we care about is helping you. If you want to rant and rave then be my guest.

    Have you considered going to the gym and working out maybe as a release for your emotions? Maybe keeping a journal to write down how you feel and getting your emotions out of your head and onto a piece of paper would help you?

    Have you thought about maybe seeing a counselor to help you deal with these issues?

    Take Care
     
  5. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Well you are starting to discuss with us now, so its a start. You say initially that social anxiety is a problem for you and prevents you holding meaningful personal conversations. Then in your recent reply you change tack a little and say the problem is more emotionally based. Maybe the fact that both are problems for you and they just compound each other? Food for thought.

    Your face might not show emotion, tha doesn't mean you have none. You never laugh or smile? Even when alone? I seriously doubt that, but our minds can play tricks on us and it appears that way sometimes. But now you have the chance to start sharing with us at SF, so what "heavier" emotions do you have right now that you would feel comfortable talking about with us?