I have no one else to talk to so about this so...

[Jonathan]

Okay.

I am 19.

I haven't ever had a girlfriend. But I've had girls like me as in like me. But I have never had to courage to do anything about it.

When it comes to girls I get really freaking nervous, as if they have this huge authority over me and I've probably let girls just walk over me.

So I like this girl in university. She said she does running as well and would like for me to come running with her one day.

Ok this may seem funny, but she is 26. Is that wrong? Will she think that is wrong? How does society look at that?

Ahh god. I don't klnow.

And if I were to date her, what the hell would I do? I'm not a good speaker. I can talk generally but when it comes personal, I freeze up.

I mean I can speak with close friends I have known for years pretty well. I think it will take time.

Any advice?

 

[xsomewhatdamagedx]

i think you need to get more confidence in yourself i don't think you should let anyone walk all over you because you deserve better than that.i have the same problem but with guys i get really freaked out when they try and go near me or talk to me i just completely freeze up.if you decide that you do want to go running with this girl be careful (that's what i tell everyone)don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with

 

[Jonathan]

i think you need to get more confidence in yourself i don't think you should let anyone walk all over you because you deserve better than that.

It sucks because I am really confident in people I have known for a long time unless I like them in that way then I kind of try and not say I like them even though I like them. I try and hide the fact that I like them which is what I'm trying to say even though I should probably be more open?

i have the same problem but with guys i get really freaked out when they try and go near me or talk to me i just completely freeze up.if you decide that you do want to go running with this girl be careful (that's what i tell everyone)don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with

Thanks for the advice.

But I don't know what it is, when I get put in the simplest of situations that I am uncomfortable with I start to sweat (and I don't often sweat in the 31 degree Celsius heat here), feel nervous and generally just very self absorbed.

Kinda of like this description of self-absorbed in the Urban Dictionary:

A person who cannot stop thinking about themselves, and constantly reminds all others around them of their good and bad qualities

Except I constantly remind myself of my good/bad qualities and constantly see what I am doing wrong when in fact that is causing me to feel nervous. HOW can I change this?! It just naturally occurs without any thinking.

Also let it be known, I will say anything when I am drunk, even though I'm in full control. I guess I use this as an excuse, if for example I say something wrong or something which makes people nervous as an excuse as I might not be serious... well because I'm drunk. I have an excuse to get things wrong there.

 

[Jonathan]

Actually you know what, I think I'll just leave this. I think I will just focus on my studies and if a girl happens to come along and we get a long or if the girl I like gets a long with me, then we can take it from there. No need to rush it I don't think.

 

[xsomewhatdamagedx]

you're completely right just wait for the right girl to come into your life thats the best thing to do

 

[Avarice]

What you're describing sounds a lot like social anxiety. I and a lot of other people here have it and feel and think a lot of the same things you've described here. I'd suggest you go to your GP and see if you can be out on some meds to help reduce those feelings and perhaps look into a therapist which can help you with the negative thinking.

 

[me myself and i]

If you like her and she likes you..................... then i can see no harm.
Blimey, when i was 19, if a 26 year old lass asked me to go running with her, i would have me peach jogging suit on faster than superman.
Look, what a nice date................ you can talk, enjoy the view( of eachother and the route) and easily part company if you desire.
What have you got to lose...................you may gain a friend.platonic or not.
I so wish you well.

 

[Jonathan]

What you're describing sounds a lot like social anxiety. I and a lot of other people here have it and feel and think a lot of the same things you've described here. I'd suggest you go to your GP and see if you can be out on some meds to help reduce those feelings and perhaps look into a therapist which can help you with the negative thinking.

Kind of hard to do that in a foreign country. I don't think I even have a GP here.

Is there any specific drug I can buy from the counter and if so what is it called? (and lol not methamphetamine)

Thanks!

 

[Avarice]

Kind of hard to do that in a foreign country. I don't think I even have a GP here.

Is there any specific drug I can buy from the counter and if so what is it called? (and lol not methamphetamine)

Thanks!

What country do you live in? If you have the right to live there then you have the right to a doctor, I'm sure, or are you on vacation or something?

I'm not too sure about over the counter meds. Might be worth a google search to see if anything turns up there.

 

[Jonathan]

I live in Taiwan and I am on a residency visa.