I have no friends to see, no one contacts me, no one to go to, to speak to. I have no reason to laugh or smile each day. I walk outside on my own in the cold and wind just to escape my solitude but the world is so horrible. passers by are like different creatures. no one will acknowledge me or smile at me. everywhere everyone is so cold. i am so so lonely. Every day is this same punishment. I feel like im in hell anyway. i want to go through with the final act because i cant take it any more. i just cant. god i hate this life.