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I have no one to turn to anymore.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beka, Mar 14, 2014.

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  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I know I said I was leaving this website because of things that were said to me. But fuck it, I never keep my promises anyway.

    I can't take it and I can't fucking do it anymore.

    All I want to do is just end my existence in this ridiculous life and yet I find myself arguing with myself over doing it. I feel like I'm two different people. I want to fucking scream and cry and just not care. But I care too much about what my family would think to even do anything for myself.

    I care too much about what my family would think that much that I'm considering Od'ing and tearing up my arms. I don't want to put them in the position. I don;t care about work anymore. I want to tear myself apart because that's what I deserve.

    I hate everything that I am. That's an understatement.

    I don't want to do this, I need my therapy sessions back instead of this disjointed shit I'm having.

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE SHIT YOU ARE FEELING OK Please do not harm yourself You do deserve therapy and care and understanding and you reach out and go to hospital or your doctor and get it ok Please take care of you
  3. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I can't go to the hospital because of my family. My doctor is out of hours now so I can't call them
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    And how would your family feel when they find you after you OD with your arms ripped to shreds? I think they will be far more devastated to find you in such a state than confiding in them and going to the hospital now.
  5. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    At this point, I don't think they would care much.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    then go to hospital hun go and you take care of you ok because you have people who care about you here i am one of those people
  7. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    e.r., yes. go to e.r.
  8. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    I don't think I have the ability to even fucking care anymore. I literally do not give a shit about how they feel. They always go on and on about how I only ever think about myself when it's bullshit. I hide all my shit for THEIR benefit not mine. Why the fuck would that benefit me in any way? Fuck them. Fuck them to hell and back.
    " You need to think about other people's opinions" Go fuck yourself stupid bitch.

    I'm not even upset I'm just so damn angry.
  9. snoopoff

    snoopoff New Member

    I feel the same, Beka...........................................
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