I know I said I was leaving this website because of things that were said to me. But fuck it, I never keep my promises anyway. I can't take it and I can't fucking do it anymore. All I want to do is just end my existence in this ridiculous life and yet I find myself arguing with myself over doing it. I feel like I'm two different people. I want to fucking scream and cry and just not care. But I care too much about what my family would think to even do anything for myself. I care too much about what my family would think that much that I'm considering Od'ing and tearing up my arms. I don't want to put them in the position. I don;t care about work anymore. I want to tear myself apart because that's what I deserve. I hate everything that I am. That's an understatement. I don't want to do this, I need my therapy sessions back instead of this disjointed shit I'm having. I CAN'T BE FUCKING BOTHERED TO EVEN FUCKING TRY HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT.