I have a therapy appointment on the 10th of november. I don't know if I can wait that long. It has been getting worse lately because I constantly have to tell myself that suicide is not the answer and I have to just wait a little longer and then I can get help. The future just seems so bleak that sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Maybe I will always be alone. I don't know why this is so hard for me. It is going to be my birthday pretty soon but it doesn't matter because it just reminds me that I have spent another year basically wasting my life because I can't get any better. any suggestions?