I have no right to be depressed and sad right now. But I am and I have no right too:sad: I mean I do not live a hard life. Right now I do not have to work for a living all I have to do is go to school and pass. I do not have to worry about food or heat or water or anything. I just have to pass school and everything else is taken care of for me.:blub: I know people who have it way harder than me. :badday: And the reason I am depressed is of my own making. Right now loneliness has gotten the better of me :blub: but the fact I am lonely is all my fault. I generally do not go out much. And when I do I genearlly do not talk to people. I am very shy and feel that anyone who is interested in me will speak to me. And no one ever does. Plus I have a trust issue:sad: and it is hard for me to let people into my life.:depressed: And then I feel bad about it. I cannot trust people to see me on a human level and I get sad and upset about it. Such a trivial thing that I should be able to change depresses me :depressed: Well today was bad I was so depressed that I got careless and went around saying it.:sad: Now my mom knows.. and my mom tells everyone so everyone knows. But that is my fault. All I want is a hug from someone who is not family. You see family most of the time is forced to love you and be there for you. But I am so selfish I want someone who is not family to be there for me. Someone to hug and hold, someone to talk to or just lie there silently in his or her arms. Someone who sees me as a person. Yet I cannot trust people to do that or to see me as a person. And I have a hard time seeing others as people. It is all so trivial why do I have to feel like this? I have a family who wants me around why is that not enough? Why can't I feel their hugs why do I need more why am I so selfish :blub: Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Wow What can I say. I'm so impressed, that's a first class post ! It's plane, its simple and it's honest, well done. Every one needs a little love and you are right, some how its not the same when it's, mum, dad, brothers or sisters. But facing up to how you feel, in the plain simple light of day, is half the battle, so what if others know how you feel, at least now they'll be able to understand what makes you act the way you do and might be more supportive. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way you do, empty hearts can be the hardest of all to cope with, more so at this time of year. :hug:
Well I do hate this time of year. The thing is that I do feel that my feelings influence my actions all that much. Really I appear to be a moderately out-going person. But I still feel there is no reason for me to be depressed. Like one old friend pointed out I live practically in the lap of luxury. I have no real good reason to be sad or depressed... I don't know, I just hate crying to others who are in trouble of losing their homes or not being able to pay tuition or barely being able to afford food or any of that stuff. When I look at that everything in my life seems so trivial and pointless.
