I've been away for two years though that hardly makes any difference seeing that no one here will remember me. I am seriously begun reaching the end of everything. I know in the past I tried to see myself off, but I was a cockroach and nothing killed me after several half-assed attempts - I'm living off of borrowed time now. This time is different. I have no one. I am alone. I breathe like a human, but no one treats me like one. I am Transparent to everyone around me; from my family to my co-workers. In the last week, I've tried to analyze my life and I've reached the horrible truth that I'm nothing and that's exactly what I was meant to be in this miserable life. This pain is undeniable. My heart and soul are aching, wanting out of this life. I was just a doodle on a bar napkin. I haven't eaten in about four days, sleep comes in an hour or two...if I'm lucky, it's paired hours. I can't functiion, I'm loosing what little of my mind I had left. I just want out of this all. There is nothing here for me. I've been waiting almost 14years for something or someone to save me from myself...to show me a light in this bitter world. To be accepted for how I am. To be held. And to to be kept for even just a little while. Am I asking too much? This is all there is for me and as far as what I've seen, it isn't enough. This life I've been given isn't enough. I'm tired an I just want this farce to stop. It was never funny to begin with. Is there anybody.....Out There? I don't know how to exist.