I have nothing and no one

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ilsa, Mar 3, 2010.

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  1. ilsa

    ilsa Member

    I have never met or known of anyone who is a bigger loser than me. I have crippling social anxiety, to the point where I have no friends, no job, no love life, don't leave the house that often. At 26, I have to live at home with my family, who are at least nice, but condescending; they see me as a lost cause and have lost hope of me becoming a functioning member of society. It's a horrible feeling for the very few people who care about you to pity you, and to be ignored by the rest of the people around you when you are so painfully lonely and long for some positive human interaction that never happens.

    I only go out once or twice a week, and I'm in a much better mood when I do so. But I can't afford to do that more often. The rest of my days have to be spent trapped at home, where the isolation gets so unbearable, my mood constantly descends to suicidal. I'm going insane. How do I deal? Help?!
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I don't think you're a loser. Also, comparing yourself to others will probably only make you feel worse because our minds can warp anything when we feel as bad about ourselves as you do.

    I can relate a lot to your post. I'm 27, no job, had to move back home, no friends, no love life (although this is absolutely fine by me) and I too hardly leave the house. Pretty much I go to the vets and get supplies for my pets and for the most part, that's it.

    I would say that you need some help to try and break out.

    Going out once or twice a week is good. What kind of 'going out' are we talking about? Leaving the house? Or something else?

    Have you thought of volunteering or anything like that? I do mine with animals which makes a huge difference because the anxiety around people is minimised.

    Do you have any professional help?
     
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you have us!!
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I relate to you.. I have been in total isolation for seventeen years..I only go out for appointments and the grocery store.. The rest of the time I am here in my bedroom 24/7..I am on several meds because of this..Then again I don't just suffer from socialphobia.. I have several mental health issues..I have found If I go out early in the morning it is alot easier because there aren't as many people out and about..I am in therapy for the last five years..And it helps to have someone face to face to talk to..Maybe give that a try..Don't be discouraged if you don't bond with the first therapist.. I went thru three before I found the one I am with now..Take care!!
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    WOW small world I woke up in the middle of the night feeling so very alone and the first post I read is yours.

    I have to be honest in that I have overcome a lot of my isolation by forcing myself to go out but sounds like you are on your way to doing that by going out a few times a week...that is a great start and foundation to build upon.

    The part I relate to in you is the sense of not feeling connected to anyone and just how lonely that feels. If I had to pick on thing that is gonna take me over the edge it would be that feeling that I am going to be alone the rest of my life. When you talked about longing for that human interaction that never happens I almost cried.

    As far as what I do to combat that I will say the number one thing that has helped has been making a few meaningful friendships here on SF. I know it is only online but if you chat and do skype as I do it helps a lot.

    Well I don't know whatelse to say other than I relate and to encourage you to stick around here and get to know some people but know you are far from alone in your feelings and that I care about you.

    Bambi
     
  6. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    My question to you in order to understand you better is why do you have to stay home when you know that going out affords you a better state of mind? I truly know from firsthand experience why being alone is a desperate feeling, so why do you accept being alone?
     
  7. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Same boat here too.
    I'm 30, unemployed, live at home.
    I'm always alone/go everywhere alone and no boyfriend- who the hell would want me! No one.
    I want to die more than anything else.
     
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