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I have recurring dreams about my ex-lover and best friend.

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The setting of the dream might change, but the theme of it stays pretty consistent.

I always meet her unexpectedly and am surprised to see her. Then we get along for a while, just walking around, then she'll suddenly act really cold and refuse to speak with me. Or she'll be pregnant with another man's child and expect me to take care of it. Or it'll be like we're together again, but she'll reject me and refuse to talk to me. The mood of the dream is always negative, and it always ends badly.

Stuff like that. I always wake up feeling sad, because I know I'll never see her again (I have no idea where she is now; her parents divorced and she relocated), but I was horribly in love with her when we were together. We had perfect chemistry. People on the street thought we were brother and sister. But things didn't work out, and we stopped talking to each other. She had just changed too much and was so much different than when I first knew her. She's had a very rough life, and it just warped her into a different person. I think we both realized that was the case, but we didn't want to admit it. Then one day things just detonated, and she canceled the day we were supposed to spend together and left without apology. I was angry as hell, and I didn't speak to her after that.

We had a pretty long history, going back to when I met her at 13 when she was 12, soon after which she was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital for three weeks. We weren't officially in a relationship until I was 17 and she was 16. After that is a long story. A good story which I might tell sometime, but it's lengthy and doesn't have much to do with the dream itself.

I miss her horribly. I miss her warmth. Dreaming about her about five nights a week isn't helping.

I need a new girlfriend, or...something. Then maybe the dreams will stop reminding me of her.
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