I have the power to do anything right now! But I guess I choose to live and suffer! I try everything to keep busy! I hate myself I wish my fat as would just have a heart attack or something already. Day after day it's the same thing! Put on a face stuff my emotions and work as hard as I can. I don't want to any more I'm so tired, in many ways! I don't come home and relax, I come home to cry.