Tinnitus is ringing in the ears. It's my worst possible nightmare. I thought I always took good care of my ears. I never listened to loud music, went to very few concerts with earplugs, and didn't wear headphones at all. December first, I finished tapering off Zoloft 50mg after 9 years. I thought I didn't need it anymore. I was so happy. Also, I wouldn't have insurance coverage for a while, so I thought it was time. A week later, I get earwax buildup and went to the doctor for irrigation. It was a procedure I had gotten many times before, but this time, it gave me an upper respiratory infection. I went to a different doctor and they prescribed me antibiotics and ear drops for an outer ear infection as well. A week later, I started to hear ringing in my infected ear. A few more doctor visits, a few more prescriptions of steroids and antibiotics, and the URI wasn't clearing up. Most of these visits and drugs were uninsured. During this time, I also developed interstitial cystitis (bladder pain caused by acidic foods), something I believe was being masked by the Zoloft, as I started to have symptoms of it while tapering. I could have lived with IC. I could have dealt with that on its own. But tinnitus... it is the absolute worst thing anyone can have. There is no cure for that or for IC. I'd easily trade it for a terminal illness. It has been three months, and it has not gone away. I was recently part of a clinical trial for an injection that is said to cure - or at least lessen - tinnitus, but I'm pretty sure I got the placebo. Now I'll have to wait 90 days for the trial to be over so I can get the real drug, but I don't know if I can wait that long. I've already waited three months for tinnitus to stop, and it shows no signs of ever stopping. My dreams are ruined as well because of this. I wanted to be a voice actress, but my voice has been taken from me because of my utter despair of never having peace. I have a boring temp job. I hate it. I hate everything in my life. Yet I don't seem to have the guts to end it. My parents are saddened by me. They are the only reasons I haven't ended my life. I'm 26, yet I have the medical issues of a 60-year-old. I wish for death, every minute of every day. I ask that I get in a fatal accident, someone murders me, or the IC turns to cancer.