I have to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Hae-Gi, Jun 22, 2007.

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  1. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I was thinking things finally were getting just a little better... I've got my own apartment, now, and although I haven't moved in, yet, it's slowly heading towards that. With an apartment, I actually CAN have a girlfriend, if I'd find one. But then I hear that mites come from larvae. I thought they were arachnoids, and hatched from eggs, as small spiders. But apparently, they begin as larvae. I have larvae all over my body. Small spiders would be one thing, but larvae is... I'm almost wondering if I'm dreaming, but I know I'm not. I can't live in a world, where my body is covered with larvae colonies. I have the worst phobia you can have, almost, when it comes to larvae. I don't even want to get over it, either, and I could never, anyway. I should start focusing on suicide, again. I must start focusing on suicide, again.
  2. -Deception-

    -Deception- Well-Known Member

    Yes, they do come from larvae. As dirtubring as this might be, it's only the natural state of things. That's how nature is, so to speak.

    This phobia can be treated, I think. I've heard they can "cure" most irrational fears today. I suspect, however, that there is something deeper behind all this. And that "deep thing" I'm afraid is near untreatable if it's hiding deep in the dark lands of your soul.
  3. altek001

    altek001 Well-Known Member

    i'll tell this story because it sort of relates: i once gave myself an irrational fear of bridges.
    whenever the family drove over one, i made myself gasp. i did this for about a month and once i gasped and was scared and i didn't even make myself. i felt sort of accomplished...after that time the fear went away pretty much immediately and i've never felt it again.

    so...maybe try convince yourself that it is all pretend. you don't need to freak yourself out with the larvae lava...tell yourself it is a silly thing to be scared of. i know you're probably still freaked and really truly see it as an issue so i'm not calling your fear of it silly...but make yourself believe it is. really try. like how i scared myself with bridges.

    it can be done. if something can be started that way, then other things can definitely be ended.

    take care.
  4. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I'm not as freaked about it, anymore, even though it still is horrible. Other things make me feel worse, today. The reason I'm not in shock, anymore, is because I learnt, mite larvae have legs. This makes them significantly different. I'm not scared of butterfly larvae, for instance. Those without legs, however, like maggots... there is just no way, I could get over my fear of those, ever.

    I've heard there are poison sprays, that kill mites. Does anyone here know if these really work, and against all types of mites? Maybe someone here has mite allergy. I don't care about health risks, but those can be mentioned, anyway. Poison really is a wonderful thing. I love poison! I love it! :)

    What do you have in mind, by the way, Deception? If you think I have suppressed memories of something, I have absolutely no reason to believe it. My mother, especially, has always been very protective, and not left me out of sight, and my teachers would never have done anything. Also, I've always been suspicious of people, even as a child. Furthermore, there is actually no scientific proof, at all, of suppressed memories even existing... rather, they are often created by twisted, or simply stupid, therapists, psychologists or psychiatrists.

    I feel really bad, tonight, by the way, for other reasons than mites. My parents aren't home, so I should probably get drunk with my father's alcohol... maybe it will numb me.
  5. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    Oh, about henry's comment... it may have worked for you, but there's just no way I could ever get over my fear of unlegged larvae. Just thinking about holding a maggot... if someone put a gun to my head and told me to hold one, I wouldn't. I'd just have to be shot, then. When I die, I have to be cremated, as well. My dead body could never be eaten by larvae... or worms. I don't, generally, hate worms even remotely as much, though. Although, worms such as those that cause elephant disease (if it's called that in English), certainly are horrible.
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