I have to go to work every day and talk to people...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NoIdeaWhichName, Sep 8, 2016.

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  1. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Well-Known Member

    I don't want work, i don't want to hang, i don't want to talk with anyone, I don't want to be myself. In free time I'm sitting home doing nothing because I don't want to exist, I don't wanna go outside, I don't like what I am and who I am. I just wanna die. I wish i was never born, i don't want a grave or anything, like I never existed.
    i'm afraid to do it because i could fail and it could be very painfull and I also don't have a tool that I would need to make it painless.
     
  2. moxman

    moxman The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat

    What is causing you to feel this way? Share with me your burden.
     
  3. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Well-Known Member

    I can tell you what is bothering me but only in chat
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry you have reached this point in your life. I hope things improve, if not, you have us to fall back on. I wish you all the best, please stay with us and we will do our best to help you.
     
  5. ghostangelcake7

    ghostangelcake7 Well-Known Member

    Hello,

    I find myself struggling with similar thoughts. My life is no picnic, but I am finding things might be gradually picking up with using my free will more and more, and not being dependent on others to live my life the way I want, and on my own terms. It's hard for me to believe that anyone feels as badly as I do right now.
     
  6. NoIdeaWhichName

    NoIdeaWhichName Well-Known Member

    I think the same about myself. in last few days I was in such a bad mental state and I really wanted to do it. I was so paranoid, depressed... i don't know how to correctly describe that feeling, i couldn't even get out of my bed... but i still had to go to work, i was sleeping for like 10-11 hours. suicidal thoughts are in my head for years. And in last few days i really wanted to do it, I was already learning a method.. but then i somehow calm down and picked up a paper and wrote rules for my life in next 1 month.. workout and daily going out for a walk. I would rather do suicide but I'm really scared of doing it... so if this doesn't work... then i'll seriously consider about suicide because i can't take my negative, paranoid and depressive thoughts combied with so much stress anymore.
     
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