Why stay alive when you've always been dead inside? I've always been dead on the inside, I've just been slowly rotting away over the years. Physical, mental, emotional; it all hurts. It's no ordinary pain. It's a pain that slowly cuts throw your life. If I'm so numb, how do I feel this pain? No one cares about me. No one will ever care about me; until it's too late. Until my existance is no more. I'm garbage, I'm useless, I'm just a waste. I want to curl up, and never move again. Maybe I'm just some huge attention seeker. If so, that alone, deserves death. I've hurt so many people, I've lost so many people, I don't want to be alone. The only time people have ever cared about me, was when I tried to kill myself. That's when they cared. I know they'd care if I die, but why don't they care now? The biggest reason I don't want to leave, is because I don't want to hurt anyone, but why? Why care when nobody cares about the pain I feel? They pretend like it's not there, like if they ignore it, it will go away. They're right, it will go away, along with the rest of me. I'm not ready to die, but I have to. I want to be my sister's guardian angel, I know I would do a better job of it, if I were dead. What does this thread even matter? No one truly cares. It's just an act, to make yourself seem worthwhile, if not for one moment. I'm a rude, selfish, bitch. I have to go.