I have to go.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by whoaaxxsamm, Aug 23, 2010.

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  1. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Why stay alive when you've always been dead inside?
    I've always been dead on the inside, I've just been slowly rotting away over the years.
    Physical, mental, emotional; it all hurts. It's no ordinary pain. It's a pain that slowly cuts throw your life.
    If I'm so numb, how do I feel this pain?

    No one cares about me. No one will ever care about me; until it's too late. Until my existance is no more.

    I'm garbage, I'm useless, I'm just a waste. I want to curl up, and never move again. Maybe I'm just some huge attention seeker. If so, that alone, deserves death.

    I've hurt so many people, I've lost so many people, I don't want to be alone.

    The only time people have ever cared about me, was when I tried to kill myself. That's when they cared.
    I know they'd care if I die, but why don't they care now?
    The biggest reason I don't want to leave, is because I don't want to hurt anyone, but why? Why care when nobody cares about the pain I feel?
    They pretend like it's not there, like if they ignore it, it will go away.
    They're right, it will go away, along with the rest of me.

    I'm not ready to die, but I have to. I want to be my sister's guardian angel, I know I would do a better job of it, if I were dead.

    What does this thread even matter? No one truly cares. It's just an act, to make yourself seem worthwhile, if not for one moment.

    I'm a rude, selfish, bitch.
    I have to go.
  2. marmar345

    marmar345 Member

    don't go. be strong. be strong for us both.
  3. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    I don't think I can. I'm weak, I've always been weak.
  4. marmar345

    marmar345 Member

    talk to me on the message thing. youve already helped me just by listening i want to do the same for you please.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Please don't give up Sam. :hug:
  6. Ålice

    Ålice Banned Member

    When you talk about yourself like that, you only feel worse. Stop fishing for reasons why you think you should die, because you really shouldnt. Be strong! Fuck everything that brings you down. You are worth so much more than you know. Killing yourself isnt gonna help your sister. It'd probably kill her inside and possibly put her into the same situation that you are in. Msg me if you need anything, even just to say hi. I'd be glad to talk to you.
  7. hillsworth13

    hillsworth13 Member

    if you're dead inside, you wouldn't feel pain. you're not dead inside; you're a human being who is hurting physically, mentally, and emotionally.
    i believe many people care about you; that's why they cared when you tried to end your life! sometimes we don't feel appreciated everyday, i believe that's because many people are so busy a lot of the time that they don't also seem like they care about, although they do.
    you're not an attention seeker, you have seemed to think that deserves death (even though it doesn't) but why would you be something that you recognize is bad?
    most everyone hurts people, loses people, and i KNOW everyone doesn't want to be alone!
    have a conversation with the important people in your life, try to adjust your home life, chances are maybe those people also feel like they aren't cared for. you need to confront these problems, they won't go away by themselves.
    You DON'T have to die, you can be a guardian angel to your sister by BEING THERE, in the present with her, comforting her when she needs her sibling. she needs you to see her go through her life, and she definitely wants to see you go through yours.
    if no one cared, this thread wouldn't exist. talk to someone about your specific problems, just know that death isn't the way to become a guardian angel and to get out of people's problems.

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