I just am not meant for this life. I'm not strong or courageous enough to fight for my happiness either. My entire life was spent waiting for next life to live. Out of 30 years of my life, I've only had 2 months and 1 week of actual happiness. I've never lived my life, and I don't want to anymore. It just hurts too much. And it'll never end for the rest of my life. I just hope next life I just get born normally.