I have to kill myself now...it is all over

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lauru, Jun 22, 2012.

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  1. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    I am in IOP and I shared about my bipolar and my suicide. I found out after sharing all that, that one of the other patients is a client at my job. She now knows everything about me, and everyone at work will know and then I will get fired. For being a sick freak. I can't live anymore. I have to kill myself now. I can't go back to work and I can't go back to treatment. There is no other hope for me. I am going to have to die. I hate myself. I am worthless garbage. I hate myself. I hate myself.
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    First off, I'm sorry that you feel bad about this. If the other person (client) is a patient also... then why would she wish to talk about any of this to anybody else? On the other hand, if she does discuss it and if your supposition were correct that you would lose your job, then I would want to be in your shoes. If a company were to fire you for the reasons you state, you could so very easily not only sue them, but you could own them and every asset that they have. In the USA, it is illegal to release someone from employment based upon the scenario that you just described.

    Stepping back from what I just said, why do you feel that this other person (who is also there for treatment?) would want to discuss your private information? Make sure that if they do, that you document it all. Again, you have the makings of one fantastic legal suit if anyone were to do that. Perhaps you have a reason to believe that this person would be that malicious? If not, perhaps it is not something to be too overly concerned with. There's nothing to fear but fear itself sometimes.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    If one of the other patients is a client, then surely she'll understand what you are going through. You aren't a sick freak and you shouldn't hate yourself. I'm sure at work they will understand why you are getting help.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun you are fearing somethng that just won't happen ok You have a right to get help to get treatment and the other person has a legal right to keep your privacy just that
    I am sorry you are feeling overwhelmed hun you have an illness like all of us do we are not freaks hun you are sick and you are responsible enough to get help YOur work place will not condemn you for that they will see that as a strength hugs
  5. Lauru

    Lauru Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately, I am a case manager/counselor at a clinic where the other person is a patient at. All she has to do is tell one other person at the clinic and it will spread like wildfire. No one will want me to be a counselor with all the problems I have. If all the patients at the clinic find out about me it will get back to management and coworkers. And in the state I am in, it is an "at will "state, which means they can fire me with or without notice, and with or without reason. They don't have to fire me FOR anything. They can just say they are no longer in need of my services, and I would have no other proof of discrimination. She has nothing to lose. She is a patient at the clinic and there is nothing wrong with her having mentalhealth issues as most of the patients there have mental health issues. I, however, am supposed to be the one providing counseling. No one wants me with all my problems counseling them. I am ruined. I am in a small community. Even if this person didn't tell, there is only one place to receive treatment for mental health issues in the area. I will inevitably, run into more people while getting help. Eventually, the word will get out and I will lose my job. So you see, I cannot continue getting any type of treatment because I will continue to run into people and will lose my job, if I haven't already. So I might as well kill myself now. I have nothing to look forward to. I am already dead anyways.
  6. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member

    Hun doctor heal thyself , it is not a shame to suffer from the problems and attitude , infact how many therapist have to visit other therapist .
    In the end you are only human , now you want a lie or the truth .

    The truth is that you are near borderline overburned , Lie well you can make it up yourself , and it takes one to know one .
    So forget about doing anything stupid , the patient is a patient.
    Sure you might not come over as the best example for counseling or restoring others to sanity .
    But then again , It takes one to know one . so you know how to fix it yourself .
    And worrying about losing your job and reputation is pittyfull , especially since you should be stronger then that .
    And jumping to the last resort that you preach to others don´t , and in some cases people who are way worst off then you .
    Shows you what state you are in , now get your own act together get over the shame .
    The past is the past , if needed go to a manager you can really trust , if there is no one , then sadly maybe you are in the wrong envoirement.
    And those stories and things only going to push you over the edge .

    So either be stronger or talk to somebody you can trust , and relocate ,keep your head high , keep things confidential .
    Start again in a new area , but make sure the past doesn´t come to haunt you .
    The haunting part is make peace with it , for yourself so you do not get blackmailed in the future .

    That is the best advice I can give you .
  7. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    If you are a case manager/counselor at a clinic, then you know and understand about HIPAA.

    It is extremely unlikely, with HIPAA laws that apply in all states, that your story/information will be spread out.

    The only thing that is amiss for you are statements about killing yourself.
  8. Mikeintx

    Mikeintx Well-Known Member

    Can you talk to this person? Maybe take them aside or in group just state your fears/concerns. Worse case they end up telling anyways, but I think if you let them know how concerned you are they would be much more willing to keep it a secret. Since she can most imagine what the stigma is like associated with mental health, I am sure they will be fine with keeping it to themself.
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