I have to leave

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Wallflowerrr, Mar 21, 2013.

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  1. Wallflowerrr

    Wallflowerrr New Member

    I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I've made up my mind. I've ordered something that is foolproof, just waiting for it to arrive. It can't come soon enough, my head and heart feel like they're going to explode- and in the mean time- I'm forced to keep living.

    I have to function as a human being so people don't check up on me and bother me. I can't even be bothered to get out of bed and I am in the middle of exams. It hurts to breathe and I am having to prepare for exams. I've worked my whole life to get here, and now I am I have finally broken. It's been a long time coming, I've been at rock bottom before, made attempts but always failed- partly because I don't want to cause others pain. Not friends, they'll move on sure enough. But my mum and dad adore, as do my brother and sister. They will not cope. This used to be enough to keep me here but it's not any more.

    I feel too worthless, ugly, empty and miserable to bear this. I feel so sorry for my family that it makes me feel even more sick, if I could go on I would but I can't. I can't even eat any more, I feel I'm about to pass out all the time, and still I'm reading for exams. I want my mum to have something to be proud of when I'm gone. I guess all I have to say is goodbye. I really hope everyone reading this realises I am weak and finds peace in living life.

    Goodbye.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your mom and family will only be destroyed if you leave just know that hun you will take them with you There is Help you go to the school and talk to someone a councilor there who will get you support you need to cope to keep on living There is help there hun you just need to reach out for it Do not harm your family hun not when you could get the help you need to survive
     
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Please reconsider. Go to your GP and get the help that suits you. I tried a 'foolproof ' way 10 years ago and obviously it wasn't. If you're not eating you will feel about to pass out. You need as Total Eclipse says to get help for yourself. Exam time is extra stressful. (I used to get the stress squits every exam day) Glad you found us.
     
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