I've had thoughts of suicide for the past 15 years. In that time frame I discovered my wife was having an affair, endured a very bitter divorce, had a child with a woman I was dating and then went through a legal battle with her over custody/visitation, seen my life savings vanish due to lawyer bills, father's death and subsequent anger issues, diagnosis of sleep disorders, weight gain, and laid-off from job in Oct. My shrink says I'm a mix of mild bi-polar, ocd and add so I take 750mg of Lithium each night before bed and a low dose of Effexor each morning. Higher doses of lithium were not good for me. I've not filed a tax return since '95 so I'm worried about the IRS. I've not been with a woman in 2 years; and have only been in a relationship and sexually active for 3 of the past 10 years. Now I don't date due to the IRS, money and being on meds issues. I rarely hear from my kids. I can't find a job and my money will be gone in 6 weeks. Here is the plan which I need to just agree with myself to do -- and do it. Pack my motorbike and head south from my mid-Atlantic east coast town -- I really enjoy exploring on my bike. Hit Nogales, AZ for a orgainzed 15 day tour through Mexico - ride up the PCH1 to Big Sur. Hang out with the spirit of Henry Miller until my money runs out. Mail a letter to each of the two mothers of my children asking them to tell the kids that I was hit and killed by a truck so they don't have any guilt issues. Then take my shotgun and find a beautiful cliff overlooking the Pacific. To me, this seems like a great way to spend the next two months.