I have tried so hard :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SnowFallenAngel, May 3, 2011.

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  1. SnowFallenAngel

    SnowFallenAngel Well-Known Member

    I have tried so hard to be positive which is certainly not easy for me. But I cannot think of anymore excuses as to why my life has been hell and is only getting worse every day.

    I am tired of fighting through the day to not do myself some harm. Tired of living in my make believe world because I have to leave it. I cannot drag myself out of bed because why bother?! Lonely and isolated with very little money, knowing that my father and sister only live a stones throw away and never speak to me and could help me out more.

    Why was I born? Why did I have to be fucking born?

    My mum loved me, well I suppose she did, she died nearly 6 years ago and my life's been even more hell since then.

    I have CFS, emphysema ( very mild), back problems and neck problems. I have panic disorder and cannot go further than about 6 miles from my home and only then if I am driving! My last holiday was 26 years ago!! I am suffering obviously with reactive depression too and I cannot think of one damn reason why I should stay around for more of the fucking same. I have been cutting my own hair now for 5 years as I cannot sit in the hairdressers, neither can I afford it! I have not had my teeth looked at by a dentist for over 25 years & they are bad and broken, yellow and disgusting. My gums are swollen and I have to be careful about what I eat. You know what I could go on but how fucking boring is this shit?!:sad::sad::sad::sad:

    Seriously thinking about it tonight.

    Same shit, different day, right?
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey, sorry you are feeling this way

    do you think that if you called or wrote a letter to your dad and sister that that might help? maybe you could explain to them that you want them to support you more. I don't know if they would react positively or not, but maybe writing to them would make you feel better and also maybe they would be more helpful?

    It can be hard to connect with people, but it can be done. maybe if you can keep posting here and connect with people here, something good would come of it. I hope so, at least!

    I hope that things can get better for you. I hope that you decide not to make an attempt, but no matter what I wish comfort and peace and as much happiness as you can have

    Life is really unfair often times. I think that you deserved to get a lot better than what you got. :(

    :hug: :hug: :hug:
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I found all the answers to all my problems in the bible. Some may knock it, but few ever actually searched for answers there. If you truly want to know the answers to your life long questions; pray for enlightenment and start reading from front to back. Call me crazy, but it is worth a shot before ending your life without any kind of explaination. Everything you suffer from can be healed and overcome. It takes a tiny dot of faith that it can and will happen and a little effort on your part and ta-da! I only know this because thats what I did and I have been livng the results since. I am here if you want to talk.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, I think you should try and make contact with your dad and sister, they could help you right now. Can the NHS help you with getting your teeth looked at?
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    You really need to get your teeth looked at.. The swelling sounds like infection.. If it gets into your blood stream it can make you very ill or possibly death..Your not alone anymore.. You joined a huge family here at the forums.. Go ahead and vent and yell your head off.. We have big shoulders and will help you anyway we can..
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi you glad your here I too think you need to get your teeth look at you don't want the abcess to get worse more painful let us know how you are feeling okay hugs
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