I have tried suicide more times because of chronic neuralgias!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by stella77, Mar 6, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. stella77

    stella77 Member

    Hello to all,

    I have some strange pains (since school days) where nobody helps me. There is combination between sinusitis maxillaries (very dry mucus membrane), neck and shoulder muscles, neuralgias (TN, Occipital and Suprascapularis).
    I am always tired, sleepy, have pains bellow eye balls and eye holes; my face and right shoulder muscle (levator scapula) are swollen. At the same time my Urine is dark yellow.
    Since 1989 I am searching the cause for that but there is nothing!. Everybody says different: bad circulation, trigger points all over head, face, neck and shoulder in combination with sinusitis (all that causes three neuralgias, the worst is atypical trigeminal neuralgia).
    The only two doctors that have helped me were: one Neurologist in abroad (he gave me injection between neck and shoulder muscle and was good for five years). The second doctor was Neurologist from Russia who has worked here from 1997-1999. He left then to Russia.

    The consequences are:
    1. I don't work since 29.5.2001;
    2. I get Social Help from May 1st 2002, 200 Euro per month;
    3. My small apartment is by Insurance Company and I have to pay, otherwise there will be delogation from the apartment.
    4. With apartment my debts are about 9.100 Euro.
    5. Although I speak more foreign languages (was in tourism, over 23 years) it doesn't help me, because with this pains (my face looks different, very strange and I am totally sleepy) I can't live anymore.

    My first suicide try was with 23 years and 9 months, when I was living in abroad (it was only wish to get asleep).

    From December 2003 until September 2006, I have escaped to neighbour country and took more sleeping pills, four times: because of the problems with Bank, then with Insurance and now with the Court. I feel like somebody who has killed more people and is punished for that..

    Can anybody give me some advice, please?


    p.s. There is my photo at my profile!
  2. stella77

    stella77 Member


    I want that my photo is not on the first side, but at my profile, please!

    Thank you,
  3. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    hi and welcome :smile:

    I'm sorry you're in so much pain, is it not possible to get the injections which helped again? or maybe find another doctor who works in a similar way to the ones who helped?

    Is it possible to find some free financial or legal advice where you are? you might be able to get help with your problems
  4. stella77

    stella77 Member

    Hello bunny,

    Here, where I live I have got many injections, but they didn't help.
    When I was in abroad (long time ago) there was Neurologist who probably had somebody like me before. He knew exactly what is here going on. After his injection I was good for five years. I don't know the name of that doctor, does he work and is he alive? Nothing!

    Other doctor, that did almost the same here, where I live since very long time (new EU country from ex-Yu). It was again Neurologist and Chiropractor, from Russia. He gave me twice injection on the same place: between neck and shoulder muscle. Twice was good for 6 months. He told me that muscle (it is Levator scapula, always swollen and very hard) makes pressure on the nerve that goes up to the sinusitis; from sinusitis I have Neuralgia Trigeminal.
    From bottom of the neck pain is going over shoulder to the shoulder joint and down to the right upper arm and I have now pains in the arm.
    Again this Neurologist went back to Russia, 1999 (he came here 1997) and I have nobody here to help me. This country has only 2 millions inhabitants and no Research Centre, how to find why just this muscle makes so many problems? I need complete Medical Research.
    Beside that I have blocked circulation in the face, nose mucus membrane and all over my head.
    I am trying to go to London since long time (4 years), but when all these three Neuralgias start to be painful I am getting very, very tired and sleepy and can't do anything.
    I was in many Health Forum's (German and English), and nobody knows the case, like I have. From these entire Forum's I have so many mails: enough for one book. Together with all Diagnosis from 1986 till today it can be very big book. If nothing else I want to find somebody to help me at least to write My Story.

    Believe me I am very tired and very disappointed about all that happens to me. I don't see any sense to live anymore.

    Kind greetings,
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.