I have tried

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by xXWhateverItTakesXx, Dec 17, 2009.

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  1. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I have tried so much over these last few months to hold on...to anything I have. That has mainly been my BF.. It's his bday on Monday and he's 18 so I don't want to hurt him..But all I can think about is suicide..It won't get off my mind..I'm just in so much pain and I can't cope anymore..I just want to OD and die...

    It's not fair on him...I love him..I can't be helped...I'm sorry..
  2. just-a-nobody

    just-a-nobody Account Closed

    Im in the same boat. ive tried so hard for my girlfriends sake but iv reached the conclusion that although she will be hurt, she'll get over it where as if i continue to exist i will hurt her the rest of her life
  3. Pixi

    Pixi Member

    To Sizzoragme:
    Honey, I don't know ur story - but I know if I was blessed enough to even have a BF, I'd be looking to live for him if not myself. If I had no wish to live anymore then I would dedicate my life to serving someone else...think of it like donating your life for the good of someone else if you truly don't want it for yourself. We have to remember that it's the illness talking - and the lighter side of life seems like a lie that we never reach. It's sickness and it's okay to be sick. Call ur local psych team or something - outreach FIRST before you do anything stoopid. OD'ing is not the way - I am a reluctant survivor of that and trust me - it is not a peaceful way to try & go. If you live - ur stuck with a whole heap of new mental stuff to deal with plus extra health problems, if u die, you have affected an 18 year old kids life forever and that is just not on and it looks like you know that death doesn't mean the end of the battle.

    If u love ur BF - then love him unselfishly. Stay here for him and make it about him or some other focus like people who are suffering and don't have a mental illness - like sick kids or animals or whatever - anything but you.

    I know nothing really helps change your thoughts but you - but please think as clearly as possible. You haven't even begun to live yet and neither has your guy.

    Take care of you - you have a long life ahead and sooo much to give. Peace. x
  4. Pixi

    Pixi Member

    Err, she won't get over it mate. Misguided conclusion big time. If u are hurting her in some way - you can choose to end the relationship (for her sake) - as opposed to your life...thus setting her guilt free. Be unselfish. It's a fairly simple choice.

    Both my parents killed themselves & some other people I was close to also suicided along life's way...I am in my 40's now and will NEVER, EVER "get over it"...
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I agree none of us get over it It eats away a bit of our soul each day. If you are feeling so suicidal then go to the hospital and get help. Depression is treatable you just have to reach out and get the help and support that is there okay. Call crisis call Good Samaritans call hospital call you doctor let people know just how much pain you are in and you cannot cope on your own. Go and get on different medication go into hospital where you will be kept safe and given coping skills better ones than you have. NO ONE gets over the pain of losing someone to suicide i will never get over it it only makes me want to die but i wont be so dam selfish as to cause others pain someone has to stop the cycle. sorrry just reach out okay call hospital now that is for both of you
  6. Pixi

    Pixi Member

    I note that "Just-a-nobody's" account is now closed...well what a shame, sometimes the truth hurts. Let's hope this guy does have a fair rethink about the potential impact on his GF and gets some professional help today. In fact all of us who are going thru hell right now & not coping need to call/yell for help - I'm going to ring my hospital or MHN today too. They can't magic the illness away - but having some backup other than family is vital for many of us.
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