i havent cut myself for a year

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by LSD, Feb 27, 2010.

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  1. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    or 14 months or so
    its like a weird feeling sometimes
    i see my scars and sometimes i feel ashamed of them
    they are soooo obvious of course people will notice
    i cant stop looking at them

    .. i kinna miss cutting
    but im scared it will hurt lol
    even more than it used it
    idk i never did it for the pain it was just a blood thing

    i want to do it again
    but im also afraid that if i do it again i wont stop
    it was hard to stop
    i forgot why i stopped cutting myself anyway
    i want to.. i want to do it again

    .. its like sick of thinking ...cuz i think about it every time i see the scars
    i just kinna miss the feeling
    that rush when you cut your skin and
    slowly the blood starts comming out
    the scarlet color... that you cant get enough of it
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    cover the scars up so they don't trigger you okay dont start it is not worth it
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Have you thought about simulating the blood? Like using fake blood? Red ice? Food colouring?

    Going as long as you have is a huge achievement and you should be incredibly proud of yourself for that.

    I also agree that keeping them covered could help stop them triggering you.
  4. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    It's great that you've gone for so long with out cutting. You should be proud of that accomplishment.

    But if you start again, it's going to be even harder to quit, and you'll only feel worse in the long run.
  5. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    should i.. i mean.. should i really do the effort?
    its like i deserve to cut at least even a little.. i hold it for so long.. its not like i cant stop again//.. or i wont..

    i tried with the fake blood thing.. and with the cover the scars thing..but they scars will be always there.. even i use long sleeves.. or a arm warmer.. i have to take it off sooner or later.. and they are still there..

    and well its not my blood.. fake blood isnt the same

    i just wanted to bitch a little
    thanks for listening
  6. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    "its not like i cant stop again//.. or i wont.."

    I think everyone says this. No one intends to get addicted to something ("I'll try it, just this once," "This is the last time. I swear"). But they do, over and over again, because it's very, very hard to quit.

    The longer you go with out cutting, the easier it'll get. I hope I'm making sense.
  7. LSD

    LSD Well-Known Member

    yeah it does make sense
    .. its just that i dont see the point ..
    .. maybe its cuz i forgot why i stopped in the first place

    why should i care of not making damage to my body
    i have scars anyway.. its a ugly body... and well it has ugly skin.. one or two new scars wont make much difference..
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