... I still hurt myself in other ways. The most common thing I do is to take a lot of pills. Usually I take around 5 Xanax, along with a lot of the over the counter sleeping pills. I do it both to punish myself for all the wrong I've done, and to escape, too, because that many drugs puts me to sleep for a long time. I did it yesterday and slept for 16 hours without waking up once. I'll also sometimes punch myself in the head as hard as I can over and over. I've never knocked myself out but it's always been my intention. Can anyone else relate to that? Most of the topics on this board seem to be about cutting. I used to do that but haven't in at least 6 years. But is taking a lot of pills something other people do? I know it's not good for my liver, but I just don't care anymore.