Yesterday, before I came to the site, I started harming myself. The first time in a long time I've felt such desperation for release. I stopped myself before I went too far, but earlier today I just had a breaking point and I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know what has come over me. The things that have happened are so damn petty and ridiculously meaningless to feel so low-point. But I'm not coping at all. I feel guilty, but at the same time, I feel like I had a right to. I know there's going to be a lot of people mad/disappointed in me, and I'm scared of that. My aunt is coming to see me in 6 days, I don't want her to have to see me like this, but it would kill me to not see her at all. She raised me from such a young age and taught me so much. We're extremely close and we're like mother and daughter. To have to justify to her that I've hit this low again I don't know how it's going to pan out. I feel so guilty, but I'm scared that I'm finally hitting the end of my rope where I just don't care anymore.